Friday, January 22, 2010

The UPS Guy

Remember the movie Legally Blonde? In it there's this hot delivery guy that the stylist is in love with. Well, it don't know about stereotypes, but what is it that makes delivery guys just so adorable?

I bring it up because here at The Business, we get weekly deliveries of supplies such as oils, sheets, and towels. And our delivery guy (we'll call him Guy) is from a supplier that serves several local area spas and hotels. Well Trina has the hots for him. I also think he's cute and wouldn't kick him outta bed, but Trina's like a giddy little school girl whenever he stops by.

Now I'm pretty sure that he has no idea what goes on around here. For starters, I know he doesn't supply the local AMPs because they don't use any products that a legitimate spa would actually use. So as far as he's concerned, we're probably just another day spa on his weekly route. Like most guys, he's shown no interest in our "spa" type services. And even if he did, he couldn't do anything because he's on the clock.

Well about 3 weeks ago, he had a really slow day so he actually hung out for a bit and chatted with Trina and me. I think she was flirting with him, but she denies it. Anyway, he asked a few questions about The Business and made a comment about "maybe" stopping by sometime for a massage.

That "maybe" was Saturday.

And guess who was working? Me of course. When I saw him, I was like "Crap! Trina's going to kill me when I tell her..." In fact, the first thing I said to him was "uh...Trina's off today... You want her schedule?" I think I actually detected a slight note of disappointment in his voice when he explained that he doesn't have any free time during the week.

So I made up my mind right there to try to help these 2 crazy kids out. "Follow me I said," and I led him into my session room.

Let me say right now that there was NO WAY I was going to offer Guy any options. I was totally professional and put on my "Therapeutic" hat. It was funny because he really had no idea what to expect - it was his first real massage. He was nervous at first, but I got him to relax. I gently steered the conversation to Trina and what "great gal" she is. I even hinted that if he liked my massage technique, hers was even better.

I think it worked because in the end he said he was definitely interested in trying it again. And that was WITHOUT a happy ending! Of course the first thing I did as soon as he was out the door was call up Trina. And did she appreciate my match-making talents? NO. In fact, she was pissed and jealous. Accused me of "stealing" her man.

Let me tell ya - there is no good deed that goes unpunished. But could you imagine what would have happened if that skank Audrey had gotten her cougar paws on him first? It's a good thing she's not here because I don't think it would have made any difference to her that 1) Trina has a crush on him and 2) He's one of our vendors.

And maybe lucky for him because I think she would have scared off our delivery guy.



Gauntlet said...

CJ, do any of the guys ever get erections during massage when there's no option or happy endings involved? Would probably have happened to me.

Anonymous said...

Hey, you tried to help her out CJ.

What can I say, bitches be crazy.....

Vinnie said...

good for you

Anonymous said...

*sigh* the UPS delivery guy...

Joker_SATX said...

Your devotion to Trina and the Business are to be commended!

Anonymous said...

Hi CJ,
Just curiuos ... Honestly, how would you
feel if you find out your boyfriend gets
happy endings in other MPs.

Tiger W.

mnwhr said...

You did what you could to help her out, hopefully she'll appreciate it later.

Carolyn said...

You did the best you could trying to be helpful .. she just couldnt see that ..

cj said...

Nope. The therapeutics are there for therapeutic reasons.

I would dump his ass. I know that sounds hipocritical , but that's just me.


Anonymous said...

Ugh, women and their "delivery boys"... Do they realize that they objectify the poor bastards?