Friday, February 12, 2010

Snow Day

Hey guys! This post is (or was) coming to you live from The Business on Wednesday night. Trina and I got snowed in and decided to stay overnight. Kinda like a slumber party, but with the occasional handjob thrown in.

We knew it was gonna be bad. And as acting manager of The Business, I made the executive decision to cover the afternoon shift in case Trina didn't want to tough it out. What happened was that the storm started off slow, and so we all thought we could work our regular shifts. Then when it kicked into high gear, we realized it was too late to get home safely. Luckily we're prepared for such eventualities.

During the winter, we all keep an extra set of clothes in our lockers. And the fridge is usually stuffed with snacks and leftovers. But why come into work at all you ask? Because there's this weird phenomenon we see at The Business where things actually pick up at the beginning of bad weather. We call it the "Hurricane Sale." You know that time right before a storm when all the wacko's raid the grocery store for bottled water and toilet paper? Well, I guess the same thinking applies to handjobs.

I covered Wednesday morning by myself and did pretty well - five 30 minute sessions (everyone in a hurry to get outta town). Trina had the evening shift, but I stuck around just to hang out. Poor Trina got 1 customer before we realized the roads were pretty much impassable and we were stuck there. So we called it a day around 6pm, put on our PJ's , cranked the heat, and turned up the TV.

I think we were on our 3rd bag of microwave popcorn when the doorbell rang.

It was already dark out and the storm was at full force, but one of Trina's Regulars just pulled right on up in his giant 4x4 pickup. He wanted to know if he could do a session, so we let him in. He asked about the PJ's and I explained to him that we were stuck there for the night. Well this chivalrous gentleman offered the services of his All Terrain Chariot, so I told him to go get us a pizza. One hour later, and we were all chowing down on the best pepperoni pizza ever in front of the TV. I told Trina I'd do him for free after the huge favor he did for us, but she said she'd take care of him.

Trina asked him if he wanted to go into session still, but he said he was too comfortable sitting on the floor and having pizza with us. We tried to pay him for the food, but he kept refusing. So finally Trina told him to just sit back and shut up. He looked confused as he leaned back (but still keeping his eyes on the TV). She went in the closet and pulled out a fresh bottle of baby oil. Then she unbuckled his pants, and pulled them down enough to reveal his prick. Our Knight in Shining Armor looked at me with this nervous expression, but I just shrugged my shoulders. "It's not like I haven't seen one before. This is what you get for not letting us pay you for the pizza."

Trina lubed him up with the oil and began to stroke his cock. I had another slice of pepperoni and watched American Idol while a half-naked man was being stroked off 3 feet away from me. Even I have to admit it was kinda surreal.

A couple minutes later, I heard a few groans and then Trina hopped up off the floor in search of some paper towels. I looked down at our Knight and smiled at him in all his cum-stained bliss and asked "so are you gonna let us pay for our food next time?"

There the poor guy was - lying on the floor with his pants pulled down, shirt pulled up, puddle of cum on his belly, glistening limp cock, half-empty pizza box, and dumb smile on his face. "I don't think so" was all he could manage. Well, Trina got him cleaned up and he finished watching Idol with us before heading back out into the storm for home.

We had enough leftovers for breakfast the next day, so we stuck everything in the fridge. We both stretched out on the couch and watched TV till about midnight or so. Eventually I made a little bed on the floor and gave her the couch. The next morning, we both showered and Trina braved the crappy roads for home. I stuck around for the first shift and waited for Cindy that night to cover the evening.

So by the time this adventure was over, I had covered extra shifts, slept at work, and even hung around while others were working. That's when it occurred to me that I was becoming Audrey!

And it only took 4 weeks. Holy Shit!



Anonymous said...

Beautiful story--trashy & classy all at once (in the best way possible!)

Glad the snowstorm worked to your advantage, and thanks for bringing a smile to my dreary day with that image.

vorpal said...

Your life sounds like a weird dream, CJ. You can't make that shit up.

Al Sensu said...

As always CJ, you wrap true occurances up in a delightfully enjoyable package.

Kudos to the "regular" and to Trina (and you) for making it all fun.

mdcraig62 said...

If you ever need more pizza, let me know... As always, great post, CJ!

Anonymous said...

Thats nice of Trina but I think he deserved a double blow job.

Anonymous said...

Hott story, but I think you should have helped out. After all you did eat the pizza?

Tom Moran said...

I agree with anonymous. I think he should have gotten a double handjob at the very least. I mean, he did provide pepperoni. :)

Anonymous said...


well you seem to have the ability to run a business, you should tell audrey after 30 days to pay you as manager or you are quitting.

ContinuousButPlural said...

Today is Valentines Day and I just gave my fiance a full body massage and a long handjob inspired by reading this blog. Yay me!

It was awesome. All of it, the massage, the handjob, all of it.

We normally just can't wait to fuck, he never lets me finish giving him a handjob before we start going at it. But tonight was super special. I gave him a massage for an hour and a half before giving him this super long lasting handjob, man with lube it's super easy and my arms never got tired. I should get my Theraputic massage liscense!

Thanks CJ, wouldn't have thought of doing this if I hadn't found your blog 3 days ago.

Deech said...

Man that was great! What a lucky guy!

JustVisiting said...

Hi CJ:

Looking over past posts has me wondering about your techno-nerd. Given he knows what you do, and who you are - what does he work for?


Anonymous said...

Hello CJ:

I have just been introduced to your wildly entertaining blog and am getting through it as fast as I can (i'm still in 2008)
I love your insights and your honesty-as well as your humility.

I have a question:
My back has been fucking killing me. I live in a different city than you, or I would be there. Can you help me find someone like you (licenced and erotic)in my area that's not fucking asian?
Email me and I'll give you my location or leave a comment on my blog...The Blurry Sex Blog: Nowhere near as entertaining as yours, but I would appreciate some readers just the same

Anonymous said...

Oh and PS...

You will NEVER be Audrey

Mr. Begotten

cj said...

Anons & Tom,
LMAO - I was dying when you guys suggested I should have helped because I had some pizza too!

If I handed out blowjobs for a slice of pizza - I would never be alone again on a Saturday night.

Hey - you guys might be on to something...

Ya know... I was wondering about that the other day. I mean, there's all sorts of extra time I have to put in now. Showing up extra early to do paperwork, staying late to clean up. Making runs to the bank. There's all sorts of extra crap I'm not getting paid for!

Thanks for the compliment and glad I could inspire you. The trick is to let the lube do the work for you.

I also responded to your other comments in the earlier posts.

Just Visiting,
My techno-nerd works behind the scenes. He's an old friend that just does this for fun, so I can't demand too much from him. I also trust him dearly enough to know he won't give any of my secrets away!

Mr. Begotten,
Look at the links I posted on the front page about finding a massage parlor. Since you're looking for a genuine parlor that doesn't do full service, keep your eyes open for businesses with suggestive names and working hours past 8pm. Start in the phone book. Then call and ask if they have any real LMTs on staff. If they do, ask where tipping starts - that should clue you in as to whether it's a parlor or not. Good luck!


Al Sensu said...


As intelligent as you clearely are from your great writing, and talented at your profession as you appear to be, I still see an attitude too typical in women that they don't deserve what they've really earned. Audrey is abusing you. Any decent person would of course have arranged to pay you a salary, or better yet, an override (percentage of all the revenue) while you're managing. I agree you should definitely step up and demand this from her. Why should she make the same profit she was before without having to do the work. I think the override is best for you and her since it will give you greater incentive to keep the business healthy, and she's not paying if the business isn't there.

Anonymous said...

To Mr Begotten; "fucking Asian"? Really? Is racism contagious (rhetorical question)?

You think there are no asian LMTs? Or legit and competent asian therapists? Or asians that only wank and think that FS is for whores, while they're better than that? Or did you buy into the myth often repeated here that AMPs are slave-houses?
You'd be wrong on all counts.

Now if you're just a prejudiced asshole or are allergic to yellow for some reason, yeah, sure, do THEM a favor and stay away! By all means.