Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Calling All Wives!

I just got an interesting idea from one of the comments this week (see - I am reading them!)..... Are there any wives out there who either know or suspect their husbands of visiting massage parlors? I wanna hear from you!

So far my encounters with spouses have been over the phone ("who are you and what is this number for?"); at the front desk ("explain to me these charges on my husbands credit card"); and anonymous comments on local business reviews ("those girls are all dirty husband stealers!").

Well, there have been a couple of times I've seen wives on the arms of their husbands as we've passed each other in the aisles of the grocery store. The term "Deer in the headlights" doesn't begin to describe those guys expressions.

Anyway, I would actually like to hear from any spouses out there who are mad at their husbands or masseuses. Feel free to post your comments or send me an email.

In the meanwhile let me leave you with this story...

I once had this customer who actually got off on the thought of getting caught by his wife. We didn't do too many sessions (he must have actually gotten caught!) but the few we did were pretty memorable.

The first time I had "Phil" in session, he told me his little fantasy of having his wife catch him with another woman, so I arranged to have Trina barge into the room and yell something like "how could you do this to me!" then rush back out. It was corny as hell, but it worked. It put Phil in the mood for his happy ending almost immediately.

Another time was even stranger. As we approached the end of a normal session, he paused and asked if it was OK if he made a phone call. I told him his session was almost over, but he insisted I proceed while on the phone. Turns out he had called HIS WIFE. They chatted about mundane crap like whats for dinner; meanwhile he was signalling me to do the hand release. So I kept going and it didn't take long for him to cum quietly while still talking on the phone. As I was cleaning him up, he wrapped up the call. It was totally surreal.

There - that should get all you wives out there started!

CJ

UPDATE!!
It doesn't have to be just wives - any stories about getting caught are welcome. So all you guys out there that got busted (Al Gore... I'm looking at you) please send stories.


44 comments:

Advizor said...

I can't speak as a wife, but my brother-in-law just got busted for cheating on his wife. Things hit the fan when she saw an unexplained charge on a credit card which led to a phone call like you described. Now he's not even allowed to go through that neighborhood on the way to work.

RIV said...

There must be some truth in what you say. Surely guys don't take this much risky behavior without KNOWING they will eventually be caught because of time away or unexplained expenses. I mean, really, look at tiger woods!

Anonymous said...

I called in "sick" at a previous job... stupid me went to my local massage place where I bumped into my boss!

Dave said...

Actually this isn't about cheating or being caught but it's as good a place as any to ask a wife-related question.

I've been reading your blog for probably a year or so now and passing on some of your stories to my wife. She's wondered several times about how you would handle a woman who actually wanted some intimate attention.

We know that you do have woman clients who just get therapeutic massage, and that once you had a woman come in with her boyfriend to treat him to an erotic massage but then she got kind of pushy about everything.

So though you've answered a couple of questions about woman customers, this area doesn't seem to have been covered (at least not in the articles; I admit I do not usually go back to read comments on articles I've previous read). If a woman wanted to come in for an erotic massage for you, what would you do? Besides the obvious "would you even try at all" question there's the issue that your usual skills to bring out the happy ending don't work the same for the female anatomy.

The Cook said...

What about wives who know their husbands do this and are OK with it?

Ashur said...

CJ said...
"I just got an interesting idea from one of the comments this week (see - I am reading them!)..... Are there any wives out there who either know or suspect their husbands of visiting massage parlors? I wanna hear from you!"


You realize that just by talking to them, whether to confirm or deny their suspicions, you might end quite a few marriages?

If you do realize that then you're the type of badass cunt I could get along with.

I suspect you don't though. Think of the fatherless or motherless children.

BlueLantern said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BlueLantern said...

Speaking of getting caught, have you heard about this?

http://sexmoneyfun.blogspot.com/2010/07/client-list.html

Anonymous said...

I have been visiting massage parlors regularly since 1970. In that time I have been through two wives and a few girlfriends. I have never come close to being "caught."
It may be because I don't consider getting a massage with a happy ending to be cheating, and therefore there is absolutely no guilt on my part.
However I am careful. I pay in cash and I am careful where I park.

Anonymous said...

CJ, it's really not that complicated, and I think you know that, deep down. I think the great money and the fact that people, in general, don't want to see how their actions can hurt other people prevent you from seeing the basic truth of the matter. Which is, you help husbands commit infidelity. Infidelity is some of the worst pain in the world. To find out that the person that you trust, love, and depend on emotionally cannot be honest with you is a life shattering experience for many, many people. It's not just about the sex act, it's about the lying. It makes you feel as though everything you've shared with the person was a lie. The cuddling, the laughing, the snuggling, the inside jokes...everything. It makes your world fall apart, and many people can never love again after such an event. For many, it will cause years of pain and loneliness, and wondering if you'll ever be able to love someone again.

I've called you a whore and worse on here many times. I wish I could say my motives were to cause you to look in the mirror, but that's not the truth. The truth is that I believed that you deserved to be hurt for the pain you've caused others. It's been done in moments of anger because I've been hurt by infidelity, and because I simply cannot understand how someone can have such a cavalier attitude with other people's feelings. You shatter lives so you can live a life of leisure. Doesn't that make you feel bad? I would honestly like to know what your feelings are on the matter, because I don't know how someone with any kind of compassion for other people, how someone with a CONSCIENCE, can possibly justify doing such a thing. I can understand why someone would fall in love with a married person, or why a married, or committed person would fall in love with someone else. I can understand breaking up a relationship for love, but not for money. Sure, if it wasn't you it'd be someone else doing it...but how can you look yourself in the mirror knowing you help cause that type of pain?

Just imagine if it were your boyfriend on the other line of that phone, getting a handjob from some "masseuse" while he talks to you about dinner. How would that make you feel? Imagine if it were done to your mother, sister, aunt...to anyone that you care about.

Just ask yourself when you try to justify it: "Do I really believe it's ok, or do I just want the money?"

I sincerely do wish you the best. Choose wisely.

Anonymous said...

CJ, it's really not that complicated, and I think you know that, deep down. I think the great money and the fact that people, in general, don't want to see how their actions can hurt other people prevent you from seeing the basic truth of the matter. Which is, you help husbands commit infidelity. Infidelity is some of the worst pain in the world. To find out that the person that you trust, love, and depend on emotionally cannot be honest with you is a life shattering experience for many, many people. It's not just about the sex act, it's about the lying. It makes you feel as though everything you've shared with the person was a lie. The cuddling, the laughing, the snuggling, the inside jokes...everything. It makes your world fall apart, and many people can never love again after such an event. For many, it will cause years of pain and loneliness, and wondering if you'll ever be able to love someone again.

I've called you a whore and worse on here many times. I wish I could say my motives were to cause you to look in the mirror, but that's not the truth. The truth is that I believed that you deserved to be hurt for the pain you've caused others. It's been done in moments of anger because I've been hurt by infidelity, and because I simply cannot understand how someone can have such a cavalier attitude with other people's feelings. You shatter lives so you can live a life of leisure. Doesn't that make you feel bad? I would honestly like to know what your feelings are on the matter, because I don't know how someone with any kind of compassion for other people, how someone with a CONSCIENCE, can possibly justify doing such a thing. I can understand why someone would fall in love with a married person, or why a married, or committed person would fall in love with someone else. I can understand breaking up a relationship for love, but not for money. Sure, if it wasn't you it'd be someone else doing it...but how can you look yourself in the mirror knowing you help cause that type of pain?

Just imagine if it were your boyfriend on the other line of that phone, getting a handjob from some "masseuse" while he talks to you about dinner. How would that make you feel? Imagine if it were done to your mother, sister, aunt...to anyone that you care about.

Just ask yourself when you try to justify it: "Do I really believe it's ok, or do I just want the money?"

I sincerely do wish you the best. Choose wisely.

Anonymous said...

CJ, it's really not that complicated, and I think you know that, deep down. I think the great money and the fact that people, in general, don't want to see how their actions can hurt other people prevent you from seeing the basic truth of the matter. Which is, you help husbands commit infidelity. Infidelity is some of the worst pain in the world. To find out that the person that you trust, love, and depend on emotionally cannot be honest with you is a life shattering experience for many, many people. It's not just about the sex act, it's about the lying. It makes you feel as though everything you've shared with the person was a lie. The cuddling, the laughing, the snuggling, the inside jokes...everything. It makes your world fall apart, and many people can never love again after such an event. For many, it will cause years of pain and loneliness, and wondering if you'll ever be able to love someone again.

I've called you a whore and worse on here many times. I wish I could say my motives were to cause you to look in the mirror, but that's not the truth. The truth is that I believed that you deserved to be hurt for the pain you've caused others. It's been done in moments of anger because I've been hurt by infidelity, and because I simply cannot understand how someone can have such a cavalier attitude with other people's feelings. You shatter lives so you can live a life of leisure. Doesn't that make you feel bad? I would honestly like to know what your feelings are on the matter, because I don't know how someone with any kind of compassion for other people, how someone with a CONSCIENCE, can possibly justify doing such a thing.

Anonymous said...

Bleh, each time I tried to post that google told me it was too large. Sorry for the spam.

Anonymous said...

Bingo, last anonymous, although you're doomed to be disappointed. CJ in the past has come up with pretty tortured explanations for how she justifies her line of work to herself, but ultimately deep down she knows. If she was truly comfortable with what she did, she (a) wouldn't have to lie to prospective boyfriends, (b) would accept a boyfriend who frequented parlors himself, and (c) wouldn't mind if her boyfriend worked in a female equivalent establishment. But she'll do none of those, and there's only one reason why she won't. Getting her to admit it on the other hand...

Expect most to come to CJ's defense by saying we shouldn't judge CJ. Somehow, it has become unacceptable in our society to "judge" someone yet totally acceptable to stand by while people's lives get ruined (as is obvious from anonymous' above post). I'm sorry, but I don't buy that definition of "compassion."

Now to answer the two obvious retorts. First, it's the husbands doing the cheating. It's not CJ's fault. Yes, the husbands are the primary scumbags, but CJ is akin to the getaway man for a bank robber. The getaway man doesn't pull the gun and demand the money from the teller, and we can always surmise that the gunman would just get a second driver if the first refused, but no one on here (I hope) would seriously refute that the getaway man is involved in the crime.

Now, it's only an issue if it's a secret. Any guy who would introduce his wife to CJ and say, "honey, this is the chick who wanks my junk for cash," I have no problem with. No one can pretend the wife doesn't know then, but that's not the case 99% of the time.

Second, why do I come here if I find it objectionable? Well, as I've said before, CJ writes well, is entertaining, and obviously talented. And for the most part I don't object to what she does. But when she laughs and brags at dudes wantonly destroying the lives of their wives and children, it's a bridge too far.

3deepbreaths said...

This subject doesn't just touch a nerve, it reaches right down and tears at the roots!
To anon who has been hurt, let me explain what ALL men are truly about ; When you strip away all of the socially conditioned rules about monogamy, every man is genetically programmed to spread his seed and part of this means we seek sexual variety. We can love and even stay committed for great lengths of time , but we cannot change what is IN us,just as we cannot fight the other drives that are instinctive... drives that have sustained us as a species.Could a mother turn off her maternal instincts, or could any of us shut down our drive to survive?
Most good men have the very best of intentions, try to folow the rules , yet, we find ourselves wanting more even if it goes against our societal rules ... and yes, most men will risk everything they have come to value, risk hurting those that are closest, risk our reputations, all to satisfy a need that was borne in us millions of years ago. None of this makes sense to our rational mind ,we are simply following our true nature.
Most men that I know of are either monogamous and conflicted , or riddled with guilt because they feel guilty for "giving in" to their desires.It's an ongoing struggle that never ends well.
You want to avoid being hurt? Try to understand that monogamy is the biggest lie we can believe ,that the sooner we accept the real truth ,the sooner all of us can get on with being happy.

cj said...

Advizor,
That's why we really REALLY discourage anyone from using a credit card with us.


RIV,
I don't think guys want to get caught - I just think that they get sloppy and then make a mistake.


Anon,
That's why it's the policy of most parlors not to let other customers see each other (another tell-tale sign of a happy ending place). When customers start to bump into each other, it's a major turn off and they stop going.


Dave,
Yes it's way off topic! But the short answer is no - we would not provide an erotic massage to a female customer.


Cook,
You got stories? Bring em here!


Ashur,
I really doubt anyone is going to provide their names and addresses.


Anon,
You wanna hear something strange? I agree with you.

I think it's disgusting that half our customers are married men. And yes, I realize that what I do is help them cheat on their spouses. Am I proud of that - no. In a perfect world, married men would have a giant letter "M" tattooed on their foreheads and we would turn them away at the door. Single men make great customers and I can work with them without any guilt.

But unfortunately this is not a perfect world and I have no idea what situation each and every customer is in when they walk through that door. And when I figure out a guy is married, I'm not in a position to say "why don't you go spend this money on your wife instead." I may think it, even when I'm sticking that same money in my wallet.

Is that hypocritical of me? Yes. But about as much as the guy at the 7-11 who sells cigarettes, but hates smoking. I supply a service, but don't control who I provide it to. I hate having to cater to married men and pretend that I'm sympathetic to their "situation."

And the only reason why I can deal with it and walk away from it all at the end of the day is that I keep myself detached from the customers. For 30 minutes I provide a little stress relief, then they're gone. I am not emotionally invested in any of them. I'm not a secret girlfriend. I don't seduce anyone. And I don't provide any services that a customer couldn't take care of himself out in the parking lot.

And lastly, I look forward to the day when I can finally leave all this BS behind and get a real job and settle down with a guy who I can truthfully answer the question of "So how was your day dear?"

The reason why I started this blog thingy wasn't to say that cheating on your wife with anonymous handjobs at massage parlor is fun. It was to tell funny and enlightening stories about what really goes on and what we all think about it.


3Deep,
I don't know if I agree with you. If that were the case I think we'd have a lot more business. Personally I think it's because we live in a society that teaches us to be selfish and do whatever feels good whether it be drugs or handjobs.


CJ

Anonymous said...

For all the people harping in CJ about her job, all I can say is, "it takes two to tango."

CJ provides a service. No one forces men -- married or otherwise -- to get in their car, drive to her business, take off their clothes, get a handjob, and pay CJ a bunch of money.

As much as it is CJ's choice to do the work she does, it is the men's choice to go to her. So don't blame her for "ruining a marriage," because that's just ridiculous. She's part of the equation, sure, but she's not the whole thing, and I'd say, not even half since a cheater is a cheater. If CJ weren't there, he'd find someone else to get off with.

Sina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sina said...

@First Anonymous: What b***. Sex workers aren't the "evil temptresses" that cause men to cheat, the men do it completely of their own will. Maybe it's different with street prostitution, where the women solicit, and sometimes quite agressively, but in all other cases it's the men who actively search for the women. Blaming the other woman is just an excuse for not wanting to see that it's the man one loves that is hurting one.
You say the lying is the worst- so would you still stay together with a man you love when he is honest to you that he can't be happy while sexually monogamous?

Athena Marie said...

As little girls we are taught to believe that there is this one, perfect man that is going to save us and rescue us and provide for us and give us beautiful children and we'll live happily ever after. Thanks Disney. That's not at all how it works. So as women, we are programmed to believe that we can only have this one true love. That's not the truth. That is a fantasy. Seriously, we all know that relationships are hard work. I've been cheated on in the past and no, it wasn't fun. I am glad that we were able to work past it and are still together.

I'm still trying to figure out why people actually get married in the first place.

HighOnPoker said...

WAH! Why don't all these whiny bitches focus on their husbands or themselves, rather than attacking an anonymous erotic masseuse blogger. Its not her fault that your husbands wanted someone else to play with their poles. Its not her fault that married customers come to her place of business looking for services. If it wasn't her, it'd be someone else.

Which is easier: Shaming every woman in the world into not offering sexual favors to married men (paid and not paid) OR finding a man who respects you enough not to cheat on you.

I, for one, am a married man who reads this blog, loves it, but has never visited a masseuse out of respect for my wife. Hell, she's even told me that she doesn't consider it really cheating, but I still didn't go to a masseuse because I respect her. She chose her mate wisely and she holds herself in a manner that makes me respect and love her to the extent that I won't cheat on her.

Take some goddamn responsibility for your lives instead of blaming a stranger online who had nothing to do with you or your cheating husbands.

HighOnPoker said...

Athena gets it. You chose shitty dudes. No need to get on CJ's case about your bad choice in men.

Anonymous said...

Most married men feel desperate, trapped in the feelings of not wanting to hurt their wives and yet desperate for release from anyone other than their wives. This is known in science as the Coolidge Effect.

They may even have sex with their wives still, but it's not enjoyable and doesn't provide the same release it used to. This is why many men who end up cheating do so with women that people say "wow, you cheated with that? your wife is so much hotter!" Massage parlors are good alternatives, but not as popular since no man wants to get
arrested for trying to scratch that itch.

Most men want kids and family but most women think there's something wrong with you if you say you know you want
someone else eventually. Perhaps this is why Viagra is so popular, it overrides the brain to give him an erection with his wife.

Advizor said...

Men who want to cheat, will cheat.
Women who blame the mistress are wrong 100% of the time.

It is my choice to stray,
my choice to get in the car,
my choice to hit the ATM,
my choice to drive to the strip club/parlor/street corner/office party.

It is my choice to take off my pants.

I could have stopped any where along the way, but I didn't.

Do you get a theme here? When I admitted my infidelity to my wife that was the only thing I said over and over, "I chose"

I chose to hurt my wife, damage my marriage, risk my family, my job, my life. Those were my choices. If it hadn't been a strip club it would have been something else, or someone else.

This is not about defending CJ, strippers, or parlors, it is about facing the fact that men cheat of their own free will, they choose to hurt you. This is a painful admission, but it's the truth.

Blame your husband, he made the choice.

Living Dead Girl said...

I am a wife. My husband has NOT seen a masseuse, if he wanted to do so: we would discuss it. I must agree with HighOnPoker as well as Advizor's post before mine. I've never commented here (that I can recall anyhow) and I'm truly sorry to those this may offend but yes, it is the man's choice to do this, not the masseuse or the mistress or the escort. The man and him alone. I've been the victim of infidelity and it was of the mistress flavour, believe me when I say that if I did discover that my man had strayed, I'd actually be far more comfortable knowing it was a business transaction rather than an emotional entanglement.

Angie said...

CJ, it doesn't have to always be cheating. I recently suggest to my boyfriend that he maybe go get a happy ending massage when he was sore and tight. I told him that it was normal to get turned on during a massage (I do all the time; I'm a woman, by the way.) and that the penis was another muscle. Obviously if he was going behind my back and lying to me about it, I'd be upset. But as long as he is open and honest and will only do it if I'm comfortable with it (which I am. I have nothing to worry about with our relationship.), then it's fine.

Sorry if this isn't totally completely relevant.

Anonymous said...

I'm a longtime reader and have never posted/commented on here. However, reading some of these comments has motivated me to do so. To anyone who blames the other woman, gimme a break. When cheating occurs in a relationship, the problem is between the people in the relationship. No outsider can break something that's not broken to begin with. If CJ wants to make money off the marital dissatisfaction of your husband, who can blame her? Work on your marriage and it won't even be an issue!

nhcareyjr said...

intense

wait2cme said...

You can’t really blame the working girls for the married men cheating on their wives. What the girls suppose to do run a back ground check on every dude the comes through? I think most guys that go to a working girl are only going for the lack of an emotional commitment. This is what a lot of women fail to understand. Barring cheating on his wife there is no shame for us to have many sex partners. Even if it’s a paid arrangement. I believe the small percentage of men who cheat do so because that’s who they are. The others do so because they are not getting what they need at home. Same with women a small percentages cheat because that’s who they are. And the others are because they are not receiving the attention they need at home. Now granted some of the need cannot be met by their spouse maybe do to psychological reasons.

ReflexVE said...

3deep - Just want to point out that as someone who dates a biologist and gets lectured about natural selection and genetics all the time that there is zero evidence that human males are programmed to 'spread their seed'. Yes, some males feel the urge to do so, in fact many may feel that urge or even a majority. However that does not mean its programmed, there is no evidence of a polyamory gene or any such, and in nature there are many examples of both polyamory and monogamy, depending on which offers the greatest advantage to the species in question.

Its commonly cited like its some sort of fact. It may in fact be possible that there is some such gene in human males. However to this point no one has found any such programming, but we have found a lot of guys(and some cynical women) who like to toss that excuse around like its proven science.

Anonymous said...

I guess you can't really blame a hitman for killing people either. I mean, he's just doing a job and if it wasn't him it'd be someone else.

There is a way to avoid sleeping with committed men for money. It's called NOT BEING A SEX WORKER.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous (hurt wife),

Don't be such a victim and don't blame others. Blame your husband. U don't know what he told the massage girl. Do u know why ur husband had to go outside to feel satisfied.

Most women stop being sexual when they marry because they're roles change, but men still have needs.

That fact s that men and women are different. Women see love and sex as one. Men see love and sex as two different things.

Get over urself and just think, maybe u should have been more of a "whore". Men (husbands) like that.

Joe

Anonymous said...

Hello. I have been reding your blog for sometime now and all I can say is I am VERY ammused by it. To all the men who actually go out of their way to PAY for a release, hey, to each their own. Do I agree with it? No, but I work at an escort office where I answer phones and send out girls to marred AND single guys. I hate that they will blatently tell me, they are married and SOMETIMES have to get a room nearby because they are with their family.

My job pays the bills. I can't help it if your husband or boyfriend is a douchebag and would like to spend an hour of their time with a pretty girl with no feelings attached. I am sure a lot girls THINK their bfs and husbands are faithful, but they arent. Leave it to vegas to prove that.

I just wanted to put in my 2 sense. The money I make here is AMAZING and I am GLAD that I do what I do ONLY because I make so much money. It does sadden me though that these guys choose to cheat because I HAVE been cheated on and I have been hurt. We just cant save them all though.

:)

Natalie said...

I'm a dominatrix, and a lot of my clients are married. Here's how I justify it:

If the dude is seeking out a sex worker, he's going to cheat on his wife. He's going to give his money to someone, and it might as well be you. CJ refusing him service probably isn't going to make him see the error of his ways and go home to his wife. He'll probably just find a different erotic masseuse.

cj said...

Let me just add one more thing to this discussion. I said I didn't approve of working with married men, I didn't say I threw them out on the curb.

Yes, it's kinda hypocritcal on my part. But it's the same kind of dilemma a bartender faces when serving alcoholics. They don't have signs on their heads that say "I'm a lying cheating scumbag and one more handjob will lead to my divorce."

However, this job has twisted my take on men and honesty. They lie to their spouses. I lie to my family and friends. Who's left to trust?

CJ

Anonymous said...

I think the relationship status and lives of your customers are really none of your concern.

I also don't think you should EVER feel bad about what you do for a living (and from what I can tell, you don't. Good!)

The notion that you are somehow ruining marriages by doing what you do is absolutely ridiculous, and I think the majority of the thinking population would agree.

NYCmasseuse said...

Ceej, I'm an erotic masseuse in NYC (outcall) and I just wanna say I feel like a drug dealer sometimes.  I know that my clients are sex addicts.  I don't like the idea of men cheating on their wives, but I really imagine many of these women are kind of willfully oblivious.  I mean, it isn't just sensual massage that has honed my radar to douchebags--I know a douchebag when I see one.  Why, then, do these women go for douchebags?  Because they have been trained to override their natural sense of self-respect (yes, I can and WILL talk about self-respect even as a sensual masseuse, and I do have it) in going with a douchebag man.  Often these clients are suit-and-tie, white-jacket-and-stethoscope, Esq., type of motherfuckers.  Smiling white guys who say, "Oh yea, Anonymous, hold my balls..." and the picture of their wife and kids is a foot away... The women are trained to marry men because of appearances and what society values: drive, material success, handsomeness, height, slickness, even audacity.  Doesn't matter if the man calls her an idiot when she spills something or plainly checks out other women on the street.

I'd rather take these BASTARDS' money than marry them.  And how many of these "poor wives" are marrying them for money in the first place?  Why am I the bad one?  Perhaps it's because I'm taking her job away from her?

These men are bastards.

And you know what?  I have a boyfriend.  Many sex worker chicks are involved with guys who are tattooed "bad boys." Why?  Because we'd rather have our badness out where we can see it.  Not of the sick, secret, hypocritical variety.  And say what you want.  We wouldn't be sex workers if we gave a fuck.  Many of us are extremely kind and caring women, that's why men pay to hang with us (sometimes for $1,000 an hour for a massage and a hj).  I see so many women blabbering like shrews on the street while their man has a GLAZED expression on his face, probably transported to a safe mental fantasy reality of some dominatrix studio.  Women, stop acting like mother-harridans.

Stay strong CJ and I wish you the utmost success in your endeavors and may you and I and all sex workers find our way to work that we feel better about--because it isn't a walk in the park.  But since 2/3 American girls have been abused, we know how to hurt, and we might as well make a buck doing it.

NYCmasseuse said...

Ceej, I'm an erotic masseuse in NYC (outcall) and I just wanna say I feel like a drug dealer sometimes.  I know that my clients are sex addicts.  I don't like the idea of men cheating on their wives, but I really imagine many of these women are kind of willfully oblivious.  I mean, it isn't just sensual massage that has honed my radar to douchebags--I know a douchebag when I see one.  Why, then, do these women go for douchebags?  Because they have been trained to override their natural sense of self-respect (yes, I can and WILL talk about self-respect even as a sensual masseuse, and I do have it) in going with a douchebag man.  Often these clients are suit-and-tie, white-jacket-and-stethoscope, Esq., type of motherfuckers.  Smiling white guys who say, "Oh yea, Anonymous, hold my balls..." and the picture of their wife and kids is a foot away... The women are trained to marry men because of appearances and what society values: drive, material success, handsomeness, height, slickness, even audacity.  Doesn't matter if the man calls her an idiot when she spills something or plainly checks out other women on the street.

I'd rather take these BASTARDS' money than marry them.  And how many of these "poor wives" are marrying them for money in the first place?  Why am I the bad one?  Perhaps it's because I'm taking her job away from her?

These men are bastards.

NYCmasseuse said...

And you know what?  I have a boyfriend.  Many sex worker chicks are involved with guys who are tattooed "bad boys." Why?  Because we'd rather have our badness out where we can see it.  Not of the sick, secret, hypocritical variety.  And say what you want.  We wouldn't be sex workers if we gave a fuck.  Many of us are extremely kind and caring women, that's why men pay to hang with us (sometimes for $1,000 an hour for a massage and a hj).  I see so many women blabbering like shrews on the street while their man has a GLAZED expression on his face, probably transported to a safe mental fantasy reality of some dominatrix studio.  Women, stop acting like mother-harridans.

Stay strong CJ and I wish you the utmost success in your endeavors and may you and I and all sex workers find our way to work that we feel better about--because it isn't a walk in the park.  But since 2/3 American girls have been abused, we know how to hurt, and we might as well make a buck doing it.

Anonymous said...

CJ, thanks for the blog, I'm enjoying it. I have two comments:

First, wow! I haven't heard this much man hate in a long time. Misandry is the politically correct prejudice of our times. I suspect some of these women have so much vitriol not because of their men, but because they were raised with unreasonable expectations about men... and are somehow surprised when reality doesn't meet fantasy. There's a reason why the most popular female porn out there is about a sparkly dead man who doesn't want sex.

Second, not all married men who get rotic massages are cheating. There are some, like myself, who have wives that aren't insane.

Anonymous said...

Holy smokes, that was good! Lots of wonderful points and I even learned about the "polyamory" gene. Most grown up discussion in a long time, and eloquent folks came to chime in.

I think that all realize that CJ (and all sex workers) is not the cause of men's indiscretions. She IS an accessory, though, and it's her cavalier attitude that rubbed some women the wrong way.
Had she said, "Ugh, I hate it when I learn about my customers' private lives and you won't believe what that douche even did the other day", no fingers would've been pointed at her. But she sounded callous and that's why she was taken to task. She's really still a kid and her defense sounded like back-pedalling to me. There is NO need to defend sex workers.

Anonymous said...

gosh, I have a bad taste in my mouth after reading through some of these comments. I agree that a cheating husband is almost (if not entirely) to blame for what he's doing, but cj did kind of invite people who think differently on this to share their views!

commenters immediately jumping on them for sharing an opposing viewpoint just kind of seems really hostile.

also there was a hearty amount of baseless specula- err, evolutionary psychology in here! haha, you guys are such jokers. seriously though, please knock it off.

Zaphod said...

I was married for 21 years to a partner that accused me of fooling around continuously. In those 21 I never strayed, but did eventually get fed up with the undeserved stress and guilt. We divorced and at age 40 I went to my first strip club, paid for a massage (with release), lived like a single male for a few years. I have made the following observations:
1. There is a world of difference between making love to someone you care about and the "release" you get from a skilled professional such as CJ. The morality forced on the western world is just plain silly, and folks would be a WHOLE lot happier if they loosened up a bit.
2. Too many people stay in marriages for ALL the wrong reasons, I know I did. I thought I was doing what I signed up to do, "manning up" as it where. If you're unhappy fix it or get out, nobody wins in an unbalanced miserable relationship.
3. Having found someone that shares my views (The Best Girlfriend Ever) makes for a wonderful relationship based on mutual trust. She knows I visit the massage joint now and then and has no issue with it. When we make love she gets four or five O's to my one. She also knows that she is the only woman alive that gets this treatment from me.
4. Most people settle for less when selecting a long term mate. They rationalize that the traits they don't like in an individual can be "repaired" or lived with. Don't fall into this, it won't work. Two way, truly unconditional love is worth searching, and holding out for. Will it last for all time? Don't know, but don't let that prevent you from enjoying it NOW.
Peace...

Anonymous said...

Monogamy as we know it today imposes unreasonable rules and expectations on spouses who for various reasons - the preservation of family, the well being of children, the desire to keep one's promises - do not want to get divorced but nonetheless find themselves in near intolerable marital circumstances. If a spouse strays in same, it is not sufficient to simply brand the cheater and judge (usually) him as having betrayed his spouse (if, say, he doesn't tell her that he got a hand release), without an equal accounting of the cruelty inherent in the institution of monogamy as it is currently widely practiced, and as its values are currently imposed on our romantic imaginations. Many spouses may be able to discuss a more open or non-monogamous monogamy with each other, but I suspect that for most couples this is a very difficult if not impossible conversation to have, if the marriage is not to be destroyed - and this is not their fault.