Wednesday, November 24, 2010

It's That Time Again - The MOTHER of all Massage Weekends

Hey guys!

Once again we've reached the beginning of the holiday season with Thanksgiving - or as I like to call it - The Mother Of All Massage Weekends. It's kinda been a tradition for me to convince all you guys out there to go find your local massage parlor this week. So today will be no exception.

For all you newbies out there - you're probably wondering why this is the busiest weekend of the year for us here at The Business. Well, erotic massage is one of those self-indulgent treats that relies heavily on 3 things:


And what other holiday provides these 3 things in abundance? Where else but Thanksgiving puts millions of cranky guys (urge) on the road (opportunity) right before the big shopping season (money).

So there you are... 2 hours into a drive that normally takes 45 minutes, heading to the house of that cousin that you never really liked, and with a wallet that hasn't been bled dry by holiday gifts for people you barely even know. Then suddenly you see it - a neon sign in a window that says "Spa." Things start going through your mind... "Should I or shouldn't I? Heck, I'm late anyways. And I could really use a massage. Perhaps I'll just stop by for a minute..."

And THAT is why this is our biggest weekend of the year.

Most of our customers this week will be newbies travelling for the holiday. But we also get lots of returning Regulars who want to do one last thing for themselves before they go broke over Christmas. Both Trina and Cindy will be here doing double shifts. And I think all 3 of us will be covering both Friday and Saturday. Heck, even Audrey hinted at coming in to "help" the last time I spoke to her. So any of you guys lucky enough to stumble across The Business this weekend will have a variety to chose from.

Heck, even Maude has gotten into it! She actually decorated the place in Thanksgiving stuff. Little paper turkeys on the walls, decorative flower arrangements, and even one of those Horn-o-Plenty things on the front desk (or "horny"-o-Plenty as Cindy kept calling it all week - which was only funny for about 10 minutes then it got old really really fast). Now all we need is for Maude to show up at work dressed as a pilgrim and we'll be set.

Hmmmmmmm.... Maybe I'll offer a special "Pilgrim and Indian" role play option this week. I'll wear a feather in my hair. And nothing else.

Happy Thanksgiving!



Anonymous said...

Things must be a little different around my part of the country. Around here, I'm seeing ads for one hour sessions for $20 and $25, like they are trying to get more business this week.

Niko said...

Any 4am Black Friday sales? That would some impressive marketing! :-)

Oilfield Trash said...

Do you have a black friday special? lol

Anonymous said...

Can I ask a question - when the ladies do full service or oral, isn't there a concern for STD's with men they don't know, or even worse, AIDS? Are you paranoid about open cuts on your hands, or fluids going into the wrong crevices of your body?

- Dee, your loyal fan.

Anonymous said...

If you are seeing ads for a session that cheap I guarantee you will be "tipping" a lot more to get past the door.

Anonymous said...

Did you enjoy your web traffic bump from Deadspin on Tuesday?

Anonymous said...

Sticky Friday?

Anonymous said...

@concerned anon

Contrary to popular belief, people are more likely to contract an sti (sexually transmitted infection) from people they trust and are in relationships with. And are therefore less stringent about safer sex practices.

The transmission rate of HIV from handjobs and blowjobs is low risk, low risk enough to be practically non-existent.

You can reduce the risk of other infections by using condoms for oral sex or not having someone ejaculate in your mouth. Reduce cuts in your mouth by not brushing your teeth 30 minutes before oral, chew gum instead.

sex workers are safer sex experts. Because we are intimate professionally and are interested in our own health and safety we tend to know our shit. We know and educate each other about the risks involved and we also know how to make safer sex fun and sexy as hell!

Sex obviously always has some level of risk involved. And if people are worried about those risks they should educate themselves about prevention and transmission. This includes clients.


Anonymous said...

@ Anon above:

Yeah I'm sure having hundreds of sex partners does nothing whatsoever to increase your risk of sti's. Sound logic there.

Anonymous said...


Thanks for taking the time to blog, your writings are very interesting.

Now, you can't convince me to start partaking of erotic massage... but that's because I already am an occasional hobbyist. :) I doubt I'd qualify as one of your Freaks of the Week, as my interests in options/extras are pretty vanilla. I will say, though, that mutuals are a big thing for me -- I can do pretty well satisfying my visual appetites with a DVD, but when I am paying for an erotic massage, I am seeking both to touch and be touched. It's easy to pay for a therapeutic massage and be touched (just not genitally, of course), but in American society, there's really no other venue where you can pay to enjoy touching another human being, sexually or not.

I happened to have spent a week in your neck of the woods recently, but my partaking has been in NYC and northern CA. Due to the volume of readily available review information for individual providers, I've never actually gone to a massage parlor but instead have enjoyed incall FBSM sessions. Some details are regionally different, but men will be men, and women will develop similar coping strategies for the less pleasant parts of this work. So I think your writings give me useful insight into my favorite FBSM providers in terms of what they have to deal with on a day-to-day basis.

Keep blogging, and happy holidays! I hope your left *and* right hands are tired by this point of the Thanksgiving Weekend!

- isocblrg

Anonymous said...

Hi, I wanted to email you and ask if you knew of any ways to find similar massage locations in London, UK?

Anonymous said...

@ other other anon

That's not what I said.

I said that trust can sometimes land partners in sticky situations. Someone who has multiple sex partners and who uses condoms with each one is less likely to contract something than someone who uses condoms sporadically. Sometimes people cheat in monogamous relationship, somethings people practice serial monogamy, going bareback with each new partner.

You are more likely to contract an sti that time you didn't use protection... something that sex worker very rarely leave home without :P and know how to use properly. We also tend to get checked out more regularly and therefore treated faster.

Not saying workers are infection free... because yeah, shit happens when you get down. But I am saying we are not the disease ridden pariahs that people think we are.


Continuous But Plural said...

That is too funny that Maude gets into being festive with this kind of establishment! Decorating for Thanksgiving, lol!

cj said...

First Anon,
What you're seeing are just the door fees for $20. Once you're in, assume the tips start at $20 and go up sharply.

Next Anon,
We don't do full service here (or not supposed to anyway). But I am concernced so I'm extra careful about washing up before and after, and taking good care of any cuts on my hands.

London Anon,
Wow - I'm not sure where you would start. Sorry!

Thank you! Well said. We generally are WAAAAAY more careful than our clientele.

Yeah right?! That woman is a riot - she takes this job so seriously. Personally, we all think she's great and everything she's done so far has been appreciated. Audrey was never much into the holiday decorating thing.


Anonymous said...

I think it's great that CJ likes remote control toys.