The Pimp-n-Ho Economic Indicator

I told you guys I had a funny story about pimps and drug dealers. Well, it occurred to me the other day when I was talking about how they make lousy clients. And they're lousy for a couple of reasons (other than the fact that they draw too much attention to a business). We get our share of P's and D's (Pimp's and Dealer's) in here because face it - who else has more disposable income? And that's why I think they make a great economic indicator.

I've talked about the Erotic Massage Indicator, and the Handyman Indicator - we're the first one's to know when things go bad because we rely so heavily on disposable income. But when times are bad, you can always count on the P's and D's because they always seem to have money, and in some cases even MORE money. So now I would like to introduce CJ's "Pimp-n-Ho Indicator."

Take for example a cousin of mine. "Benjy" runs his own custom car stereo place. I'm talking the top-of-the-line stuff, not your $200 Sony radio with cassette player. He specializes in the extreme, 27 speaker, 50 gigawatt, 12 LCD screen, mobile disco on wheels. His work has been featured in car magazines and TV shows. And it's NOT cheap. He once offered to pimp my ride, but when he mentioned price my left hand cramped up at the equivalent number of handjobs I'd need to cover it. That's the level we're talking here.

Anyway, not too long ago he was doing a great business. But back then it was professional athletes, young dot-com millionaires, or guys doing well in real estate. He tells me now that he barely scrapes together enough money for rent by relying on business from P's and D's. They're mostly guys from the city looking towards the burbs for either a bargain, or just something different.

I'm not fond of their business either because one way or another, they're always trying to recruit you. And they're very pushy because that's just the way they do business. So I just assumed that Benjy hates them for the same reasons. Turns out that's not the case. Benjy just hates them because they're cheap, greedy, self-centered assholes. Let me explain...

When you're working with high-end stuff, whether it's stereo equipment, custom cars, fancy speedboats, etc., your business relies on reputation and word-of-mouth. I guess rich guys don't exactly reach for the yellow pages when they want to pimp out the Bentley. Instead, they see something they like at trade shows, magazines, or their rich neighbors driveway, and then just ask where they got it.

Apparently in the social sphere of Pimps and Dealers, this is considered a serious breach of etiquette. Benjy said that the problem is that whenever he finishes a job for P's and D's, he knows that all that work is a dead end and will not generate any additional sales or increase his reputation. The P's and D's will take all the credit for themselves, and will not divulge who did the work for them - no matter how many shows they do or photo spreads they get. They basically consider people like Benjy as "their little secret."

Some of you are probably thinking so what? - they paid for a product, so they can do whatever they want with it. But as Benjy pointed out to me (after I said just that) he can't exactly advertise high-end services like his in the newspaper. Instead, he has to rely on the occasional plug like "as featured in Extreme Noise Magazine" or "winner of the 2009 Ghettoblaster award."

So now my cousin is just hoping things will pick up soon so he can be more selective with his customers. I know what he means. I feel the same way about customers who smell bad.

CJ