Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Erotic Massage and the Internet

In case you haven’t noticed yet, I’m pretty computer illiterate. I can just about manage to post these blogs by myself, but that’s it. As you can see, this page is pretty plain since I can’t figure out how to add a background or a list of my favorite blogs. All I’ve figure out how to do on my own is post the occasional picture.

My partner-in-crime (Eric) helped me set this up, and I’ve taken it over from him. But he occasionally logs on and corrects my spelling and grammar. And in case you were wondering, only 2 people on the whole planet know I have this website – Trina and Eric. Trina because she’s my best friend and she helps me come up with topics, and Eric because he’s my techno-nerd and Go-To Guy when my computer freezes up.

Now until I can get him to create one of those lists of my favorite blogs, let me give a shout-out to some of my favorites. Of course I read “Confessions of a College Callgirl” (who doesn’t), but my favorite is Slutty McWhore. Just like yours truly, she’s an Erotic Massage Therapist. But what I love about her is that she does what I can’t bring myself to do – talk about her personal life. It’s funny – she recently told the story of how she revealed to her boyfriend what she does for a living. When I first read it, I was literally yelling at my laptop “Nooooo!!!! Don’t do it!!!!!” I haven’t yelled at a screen that loudly since they took Temptation Island off the air. Another one I like is A Date in the Life. It’s like all my dating stories but better written. She makes me feel like I’m not the only 1 who goes through that emotional crap.

My first real encounter with the internet was a couple years ago when out of boredom I did a search for myself on google. My full name is common enough, so there were like a million entries. Apparently I placed 17th in a 5k race somewhere in Iowa, and I was arrested for stabbing a man in San Antonio. So out of curiosity I tried narrowing it down using the name of the Business – and Bingo!!! I actually found an article posted in one of those adult sex chat rooms about massage parlors that mentioned me. Holy Shit I’m famous!

It was one of those sites where guys can give reviews and descriptions about the massage places they’ve been to. Some guy who I don’t remember left a review about the Business. He said that our place was very clean, and the staff friendly. Pointed out up front that we’re NOT full service. Said that his masseuse (yours truly) had “fabulous tits” and didn’t make him feel rushed. After reading more articles from that site I realized that not being rushed is actually a compliment. I then searched the internet for anything else on me and the co-workers, but nothing. I managed to find a few more references to the Business (location and hours), but nothing more about the masseuses. Oh well – so much for my 15 minutes of fame.

When I first saw my name up there on the computer screen for the whole world to see (well the perverted, trenchcoat wearing world that is) I have to admit that I was a bit creeped out. At first I thought - What if anyone I knew saw this? Then - What would I do if they had said anything bad? But eventually I wondered - Will this help me get customers? So after a while, I wasn’t creeped out anymore and actually felt complimented. He DID say something nice after all (I take them when I can get them, right?).

But now that I have my own blog, I get total control over what’s said about ME. And let me tell ya – it feels nice. And you guys really make me feel welcomed out here, so thanks a lot. It’s nice to know that my whole internet notoriety no longer consists of 3 sentences written by an anonymous guy in an adult chat room somewhere.


mnwhr said...

Thats the beauty of the net, you can be popular and anonymous at the same time.

The Girl in the Mirror said...

Wow... I never thought to ask, but you guys don't use "stage" names? If it were me I would never want to tell one of those guys my real name. Just a thought.

Back in college I "had a friend" who, for a period of time, was an exotic dancer, and after a little while there she found out about a website much like the one you described, 'cept the reviews were written about the dancers.

And as it turns out, being a 19 year old, insecure stripper (for the sole purpose of making herself feel more confident... and yes I see the irony here) combined with being written about (faaar more negatively than you were, you were lucky) is not such a good mix. When I started reading that paragraph I was like "oh no... please tell me it was good."

Anonymous said...

You do have nice tits and, since I havent been with a woman since my son was born last year, I know Id pop off fast if i could look at them while you gave me a hand release. funny blog.
texas guy.

Henrietta Hussy said...

to put up a list of the blogs you read is really easy. just go to 1)edit/manage layout
then 2)add new page element
then either click 3)add new link list or blog roll
and just enter the url of the blogs you like.

hope that helps!


cj said...

Dear Girl...

Some of the girls use "stage" names. The rest of us just avoid using our last names. But just like movie stars, we try to stick with just one name during our little careers. It helps loyal customers to find us whenever we change Businesses.


Anonymous said...


There are a number of "massage review" sites out there and I'll bet if you seek them out you will find more than one review of your work. Most of these sites are specific to a certain area, so if you search using the term I did above and add your state or a nearby large city, you will probably find more reviews. Most of these have free accounts you can sign up for. They will call you and your colleagues, "providers". Your customers will call themselves "hobbyists". These sites might also combine reviews for escorts as well. (also try "escort review") Many of the reviews on these sites will not show up on all search engines because of how many search engines work.


cj said...

Dear Henrietta,

I called up Eric and told him to get off his ass and give me a list of blogs on my page.


During my google searches I found a bunch of various sites dedicated to reviews, and they all kinda creeped me out. For some reason I really really hate that term "hobbyist." What I do for a living ain't exactly stamp collecting.


Slutty McWhore said...

Thanks for all the shout-outs you've been giving me recently! I'd have popped around sooner to say thanks but I was on vacation.

Yes, like you, I hate the term "hobbyist" and "provider". They're both ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

We all have our pet peeves and language hang-ups. I like calling my vice a "hobby" - makes it sound quaint and harmless, it's an ironic euphemism. And I find "provider" respectful: because if you take away masseuse and therapist (both terms describing legit people, therefore misleading and disingenuous in your case), what else is there beside whore, hooker, and, your favorite, sex worker?