Listen buddy, you came in here to relax. I am not your therapist, chiropractor, teacher, counselor, doctor, financial advisor, coach, priest, mentor or psychiatrist. I am also not your carpenter, plumber, mechanic or electrician (yes – he once asked me if I knew anything about electrical wiring). And besides – do you really want investment advice from your masseuse?
Plus, Audrey got on me today about my outfit. Apparently she didn’t think my double tank top was “appropriate” for work. It’s 90 degrees and 100% humid outside bitch! Maybe you’d know what it was like outside if you ever bothered to leave this cave and get a life. So did I mention to her that she’s been wearing the EXACT same nasty-ass shirt for 3 days in a row now? Nooooooooo… Because I’m not like that.
And customers have told me that every time they get her in session, she’s always wearing that ugly, black lace bra with the hole in the left cup. So why don’t you look in the mirror first before you start critiquing MY outfit?!
Oh Gawd. I think I’m PMSing.