Friday, May 15, 2009

Freak of the Week - The Panty Bandit

Sorry I haven't had much to say recently guys, but things have been kinda slow and boring at work. Lots of the Regular Joes coming in, asking for the cheapest options. But the other day, I did have a guy ask to buy my used G-string.

Now I get requests like that so often, that I don't even consider these guys as candidates for Freak of the Week. What is it with guys and used underwear? Well, I guess I shouldn't say anything since I've actually seen what guys do with underwear.

A typical panty-buyer will usually just smell them while I do the hand release. Occasionally a customer will ask that I use my G-string to do the hand release - by wrapping it around his dick and then jerking him off with it. But I would have to say that the weirdest was the guy who took my panties, wadded them up into a ball, and then stuffed them down his throat while I did the hand release. That one kinda freaked me out.

This got me thinking about an old customer of mine, that we'll call Freddy. Like other panty guys, it started off innocently enough with him asking (jokingly) to have my G-string at the end of session. I said sure since I always keep extras around, and $60 for a $8 thong is a pretty good deal.

Let me explain here that $60 is the going rate for used underwear. We girls got together one day and set a price since it happens so often, and it's a sellers market since buyers NEVER say "no" once they've asked. And why is it that guys only want panties and never bras? I have a drawer full of old ones, and at $30 for a new one you guys can buy as many as you want. Make me an offer!

The next time Freddy came in, he asked to buy my G-string at the end of session, and I said "I don't know if you want this one... I bought it a year ago and it's ready to be thrown out. It's super comortable, so I wear it all the time..." Well let me tell ya - this little story only made Freddy want it even more. So I sold it to him! And I was honest too - I figured who would want some ratty old underwear?

And this became Freddy's "thing." He would offer to buy my panties after I told him a story about them. The better the story, the higher the price he would offer. In fact, it got to the point where I would sometimes bring in extra G-strings that had particularly good stories to tell:

"I wore these last Saturday while I was out dancing with my girlfriends..."

"My boyfriend pulled these off with his teeth the last time we fucked..."
"These are my lucky panties - I always seem to get lucky whenever I wear them..."

I'm not good at making stuff up, so the stories were more or less true. I would sometimes exagerate just to make them seem more sexy or funny, but it never really mattered since he just wanted to hear something/anything about them.

Now the most money he ever paid for a pair of my used panties was for a very true story about an old boyfriend. We had just broken up after a huge fight, but then got back together after I admitted it was all my fault (it was - I was a total bitch to this guy). Anyway, we were talking and finally decided to get back together. BUT he had a list of demands that included makeup sex.

I like makeup sex as much as the next person, but he REALLY wanted to get his revenge on me. So he asked for anal sex followed by a blowjob and ending with a facial. Now I rarely give up my ass, so that would indeed be a special treat for him. But if he thought I was going to put his cock in my mouth after it was in my ass - He might as well look for a new girlfriend.

After much bargaining, we settled on an ass fuck to be followed by a facial, with the understanding that he could NOT let that cock touch my face. That seemed to make him happy, so we went at it right then and there. He was so fucking horny, that he didn't even bother removing my thong. He just bent me over, pulled it to the side and started doing me from behind. So we both fucked like that for a while - two half clothed, angry people going at it like animals.

And let me tell ya - he obviously had some issues still because he fucked me HARD. Payback is certainly a bitch. Luckily for me, he got overly excited and ended up cumming before he wanted to. He completely forgot about my offer to let him pop on my face, so he just pulled it out and came all over my ass and the thong. However, the last laugh was on me because I had trouble walking for the next 3 days.

My first thought when I told this story to Freddy was that he wouldn't be interested in panties that smelled of sweat, ass and cum. But boy let me tell you - not only was he NOT offended, but he ended up offering me the most he's ever done. Even I was like "Dang - I ought to break up with guys more often!"

Now that I think about it, this is probably where I first started getting practice at telling sordid stories. Who knew that when I was just trying to turn some guy on to make a buck, that I'd be learning a valuable skill. Go figure!



Anonymous said...

Anal without lube? No wonder you had trouble walking for three days.

Anonymous said...

CJ, your reference to angry sex brought back an interesting memory. I believe almost any emotion can color a sexual experience: love (obviously), anger, shame, hate, disgust and, especially, fear.

My boyfriend worked at a hotel in Vegas that has this teeter-totter thing on top of this really high tower. It’s got to be at least a thousand feet straight up in the sky and it slides right off the edge of the tower and then brings you back again. You’re left hanging out in space and it scares the shit out of you.

We figured it would be a turn-on to sneak a fuck on the thing, even though it wasn’t running.

So, one night, after the ride had closed, Josh and I went to the top of the tower and climbed onto the front seat. We had both stripped naked from the waist down and I sat facing him on his lap. You usually use a seat belt, but we figured we didn’t need one for where we were going.

Josh and I were both really excited and in no time we’d worked ourselves into a fucking frenzy. I was bouncing up and down on his firm dick, we were both moaning and groaning and I started to feel that warm, tingly “here-I-cum” feeling.

Then the god-damned thing started to move!

One of Josh’s co-workers, Hector, had seen us going up and followed. He thought it would be funny to surprise us, but when he saw what we were doing he decided a little coitus interuptus would be funny. He hit the switch, and me and the boyfriend were headed straight for the edge of the tower.

Josh and I both knew we were moving in the same instant, just as both of us were sharing the onset of a lovely, screamin’ orgasm. As the ride shot out over the edge, Josh also went over the edge. His cock popped out of my pussy and he began screaming and shooting his jizz all over us. He couldn’t stop.

I was caught in that space between ecstasy and terror. I was already over the top; my whole body was wracked with wave after wave of pleasure. But I was also scared shitless. My skin erupted in tiny goose-bumps and I clutched Josh as tight as a vice between my wet thighs. My mind flashed between thoughts of tumbling to a terrible death and feelings of heavenly sexual delight. I screamed. I spasmed. I nearly tore poor Josh’s head off.

Awesome! Friggin’ awesome!

When it was over and Josh and I were safe, I wanted to kill Hector . . . or give him a really good blow job.

Anonymous said...

CJ, I am sure I am asking for a lot of us...could we get some more pictures of you? We know for obvious reasons that you don't want to show your face, but how about some new shots? It would be much appreciated. Keep up the good work!

Advizor said...

I think your story telling skills are going very well....

Anonymous said...

Um, well, you got everyone's attention with that one. CJ does anal, story at 11. ;)