Thursday, December 3, 2009
Confessions of an Erotic Shopper
OK... I know the holidays are here when I've gotten my first request for a "Shopping Date." It's an extra service I offer to friends and family at no additional charge. When it comes to shopping, my skills are legendary and without compare.
My "date" is a customer I'll call Mike. He's married wth 3 kids AND a big wedding anniversary coming up. So not only does he have a shopping list a mile long, he also needs gifts with pizzaz. In other words, a Snuggie ain't gonna cut it this year.
The last time I saw him in session was 2 months ago, but he actually stopped by The Business yesterday and begged for my help. He's been a faithful Regular for years, so I had to help him. Besides - he has no problem of being seen with me in public since he lives over an hour away.
So do any of you guys out there find it in poor taste that the hands that oil up Mike's cock are the same hands that are picking out his family's Xmas gifts? Personally, I think it's funny. But think of it this way - as a girlie girl, I know exactly what kind of things his wife will like. And with all my nephews/nieces I know what all the hot toys are for this season.
And in return for my services, I'll get dinner at Red Lobster. Plus, he'll probably get me a gift card for Target or something as my Xmas present. I figure that's only fair considering I'm the one that will research and find all the coolest toys for the kiddies plus the most romantic and thoughtful jewelry/lingerie for the wifey - AND all within his budget.
Did I mention that we should be able to accomplish this within 2 hours? Now is THAT service worth something to you? Your entire Xmas list done in a fraction of an afternoon? Just think of me as a professional gift consultant.
Now I've never told anyone this before (except Trina), but I also provide one extra special service for the weary Xmas shopper. Two years ago, I was helping a rather timid gentleman who was deathly afraid of the mall and crowds. I managed to get him in and out of the mall and 2 shopping centers in 1 short evening. It would have been 3 shopping centers, but he was breathing funny and I thought the poor guy was gonna have a panic attack.
So I made some very bold decisions regarding Webkinz and an espresso machine so we could call it quits. He was relieved, but still a nervous wreck. I offered to buy him a beer, but he said he didn't drink. I still felt bad for the guy, so I told him to park the car at the far end of the parking lot. When we got there, I told him to just lay back and relax.
I took a quick peek around to make sure no one was nearby and I unzipped his pants. At first he was like "Whaaa?? Are we alone?? Can anybody see??" I told him we were fine and to just shut up. As a loyal Regular he was already quite familiar with my technique, so he calmed down quickly. Without the benefit of baby oil, I took care of him dry (The HJ technique is very different between lube and dry but a lot of inexperienced girls don't know the difference).
When he was getting close to cumming, I pulled his shirt up a bit (you try explaining cum stains on your shirt to your wife after "shopping"). He moaned out loud and made a neat mess on his belly. After directing me to hand him some paper napkins in the glovebox, he thanked me several times. I was just happy that he was finally breathing normally again. Then he rolled down his window and tossed the used napkins before driving me back to my car at the mall.
It's the one and only time I've successfully mixed work and shopping.