Saturday, February 14, 2009

The Hottie and the Nottie

Some of you asked recently if we ever get really hot guys in as customers and what that's like for us. Well, we do get our share but unfortunately it's not nearly as often as we'd like.

I asked around The Business the other day if anyone had any good "Hot Customer" stories. We all had a good laugh talking about it, but in the end we all had similar experiences. I really hate to break it to everyone out there, but none of us had any "Penthouse Forum" type stories to share. Sorry! I mean I coulda lied and said we'd all sucked some guys dick because he looked like Marky-Mark just to make good reading, but I'm here to teach you - not make things up.

The thing is when you meet a REALLY hot guy, girls tend to feel intimidated. Now when I say "good looking" I don't mean a better-than-average, most-popular-in-high-school type. I'm talking CK underwear model here. I mean HOT! When I get a total hottie, I go from outgoing to totally shy in 2 seconds. We all agreed that the hot ones make us feel too self conscious to really relax and just enjoy the view.

Ya wanna know who really can't deal with a hot guy? Audrey. Since she's the oldest one here, and her body ain't what it used to be, she totally clams up with the guys, and even cranks down the room lights as low as they'll go! Trina said she's also done the light trick with hot customers since a little chunky. Then there's Cindy... You'd assume that she just jumps them in the room - right? But no - she said she usually develops an attitude with these guys like, "Yeah - you think you're so hot. Well fuck you. Ya gotta pay for this shit..." And yes - she will make them pay!

You'd think that the Hotties would come in and really try to work their charms on us. I hate to burst your bubble, but on average they tend to be the least demanding and pervy of our customers. So with that said, the Hotties end up being treated no differently than other customers.

Now I'm not gonna lie and say that I'm indifferent to these guys. Whenever I get a Hottie, I'm like "yeah baby... I wonder what that would taste like dipped in chocolate..." But since I'm a professional, I express that sentiment as "yes... can I help you?" Also, I might develop a case of amnesia and forget to mention that other girls are available. LOL

Once in the room, I usually act more subdued than usual. If anything, I prefer they take a topless option since I feel so self conscious about the rest of my body. Then when I get them on the table I'll fantasize about what it would be like to fuck them. But no - I've never made a move on them. And whenever they've made a move on me, I've always given them the, "I'm sorry, we're not allowed to do that" line. For me, when it comes to doing extras for free - I've said it before and I'll say it again - it's all about attitude. Make me laugh, treat me with respect, or engage me in conversation and then I'm up for doing something extra for fun. But just because you've got washboard abs and hair styled better than mine - doesn't mean I'm doing anything extra.

Now this brings me to the Notties... The Notties are the guys who've been beaten with the ugly stick. I don't mean just unattractive, I mean missing teeth, unwashed, B.O., uni-brow guys. These customers tend to be the most demanding, picky and perverted of the customers. They'll come in and demand the Beauty Pageant (where all the girls have to come up front for their inspection), give us an attitude, argue price, and then demand all sorts of pervy shit in the rooms. I guess they figure that since they're paying customers, then can get whatever they want. Sorry - doesn't work that way guys. We're masseuses, not sex slaves.

So if there's a lesson to be learned here, it's that looks aren't everything. If you really want to charm us, better work more on your sense of humor than your hairstyle.



Anonymous said...

Hi CJ! What is the biggest/smallest/strangest penis you have had to work with?

Tom Moran said...

Have I mentioned that yours is by far my favorite blog? :)

Anonymous said...

I've seen guys going in and out of the AMPs, and never, ever seen the uber hot. Usually, it is the pot bellied average guy in his 50-60s. Pretty much the same look as you see going in and out of the gay bathhouses (during the daytime anyway). ;)

Drew said...

Hey CJ, I was just wondering, have you ever had any celebrities (from local celebrities all the way to movie and sports stars) as clients?

Anonymous said...

I guess I would qualify to be in the Notties by my looks but hopefully the Hotties by my attitude and personal charm....I mean, I do wear makeup and all.

It is refreshing to deal with a professional. I can appreciate that. And, I will start with the "What Ifs" here....What if the hottie and the ever elusive combo of the great bod and great personality and ask you out...outside of work. Would you go? Would you work on that fantasy you have while you are with him in the room?

cj said...

Dear Anon,
I talked about that in a really old entry. Look at some of the stuff from the beginning. Hint - guys with the biggest ones are not what you'd think.

Drew and Farceur,
I hope I answered your questions with that last post. I've had hotties ask me out, and I've always politely told them that it's against policy to see customers outside of work. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'll only go out with guys that I've established a relationship with at work, and who I feel very comfortable with. Washboard abs may hold my attention, but it's personality and attitude that get me to take it outside The Business.


Anonymous said...

If anything being too good looking as a guy can be a bad thing. As CJ said girls tend to get shy, intimidated and close up when talking. Used to do some modeling in college and I had problems similar to that. Getting them to feel comfortable and at ease can be a challenge (fyi super good looking guys are people like anyone else-no reason to be intimidated). Actually I think the guys that have the best shot are guys who are above average looking who have a good personality and are going somewhere in their lives (career, relationships, etc.). They are good looking enough to be easy on the eyes and keep the girls interested-but not 'super model hot' where they are exceedingly intimidating. My friend was one of these types: good personality/above average looks-he pulled more girls than I did even though I would get more stares initially. An extremely good looking guy has to have a better personality from my experience...Also guys love to cock block and tear you down anyway they can if their threatened by you-even other girls will get in the way of one of their girlfriends if they feel jealous. I remember my buddy saying to me once that he liked using me as bait to get the girls interested and then move in for the kill. Lol Smart bastard! :)