Monday, February 2, 2009

Worst Blind Date Ever - Epilogue

I got a call from Craig over the weekend. My first thought was "Ugh - I have nothing to say to him." So I let it kick over to voicemail.

Basically he pleaded for forgiveness for his behavior and then begged me for another chance. I really wasn't expecting this response considering that he almost totally ignored me all evening, so I made a few phone calls of my own.

Apparently Marsha said a few unpleasant things to her friends who then told their friends until it eventually got back to Craig that he acted like a total asshole on Saturday. In other words, he never figured it out himself - it took about 12 people to finally clue him in.

In the voicemail, he said a bunch of his old college buddies were in town and he thought he could combine the blind date with their little reunion. Well fuck that. If I wanted an inattentive asshole I'd go back to the old Asshole. Any guy who's immune to the charms of "The Girls," is useless to me anyway.

Now I wonder what it would be like to date a customer? Or at least a guy who fully knows what I do for a living and he's OK with it. Is that even possible? Question for you guys out there - could you date an erotic masseuse and be OK with it?

Pros:
Professional massages
Decent paycheck
Wicked handjobs

Cons:
Guys constantly hitting on her
Co-workers are Ho's and Druggies
Occasional semen stain in hair

Well? Could ya do it?

CJ

25 comments:

krist said...

I could do it.

but that's just me...

at least I would know what was going on .. right?

just bob said...

If she wasn't proving "extra" services I could.

just bob said...

proving = providing

Anonymous said...

something about Mary comes to mind......

jh0 said...

You'll probably feel better being honest from the beginning. He'd have to be a real trooper though.

I could put it this way. Are you closer to the "real friends" you have told, or the ones that don't know? Somebody in your life has to know.

Anonymous said...

my last girlfriend hooked part time.
she started when she lost her job
and was doing it part time to pay off debt

RIV said...

i would so date you. i think it would be awesome, particularly hearing some of the weird stories.

Anonymous said...

i think a job's a job right? would he have a problem if you were a defense attorney? probably not! as long as it's all business at work then where's the problem right?

ReflexVE said...

Absolutely not. And I'm not even really the jealous type.

Sides, I'm practically the sugar daddy type with my actual gf's, well, I bend over backwards anyways. I make a decent living but I don't have a yaht. ;)

Gagata said...

Would you mind wiping the semen off before we make out?

Well, either way, I'd totally date you. On the other hand, without saying too much, I could probably qualify as freak of the week...

Anonymous said...

First, I'd like to comment on "Craig". I don't think I'd give him another chance, since he wasn't bright enought to "figure it out". Even though he had the excuse of old friends around, you can be sure there'll be other similar situations where you won't be a priority to him, and again, he won't figure it out.

As for the question about weather I could date someone in your line of work, I'd have to say that I could do it and be OK with it. (But, I may not be very representive of most guys) I'd rather know that you were being honest with me. If I was confident that you weren't going too far with your customers, and that I was getting what they only dream about, and that you wouldn't be bringing home any diseases, I think I could handle it. I'm guessing that you have no desire to change your line of work. I think, that if you're dating in an effort to eventually settle down, you're probably better off going with the honesty route. I don't see any relationship going the distance, if it's tangled with lots of lies.

AJ

Kenny S. said...

It wouldn't be a huge deal at first. But if things got more serious, I don't think I could handle the thought of someone I really loved touching another guy's dick and ocassionally having guys come on her. That would REALLY bother me.

So for a casual relationship, sure. For a serious relationship, no way.

HighOnPoker said...

Your other commentors are being very generous. It makes sense, too, since they are readers and therefore are more likely to be cool with the whole massuese thing. But let me just warn you that by announcing your gig right away, you are going to eliminate some guys from the dating pool, which may or may not be good, depending on what you are looking for. You'll lose the meek and the jealous, but good riddance to them. You may also lose the straight-laced guy who will be loyal and has a steady job. That might be the problem. Sure, there are some loyal guys who have steady jobs and would be ok with dating an erotic massuese, but I think they are in the minority. Just some food for thought. For the record, I'd date you, but I couldn't take the relationship too seriously or else jealousy issues would arise.

Anonymous said...

it reminds me of an old joke:

Q: "What does a stripper do with her asshole before going to work?"

A: "Drops him off at band practice..."

SirFWALGMan said...

I think it would be weird if you just came out and said what you did for work before someone got to know you. I tend to think if you did that you would end up with guys who just wanted to get in your pants more than anything else.

If I got to know you and liked you then I could live with it. I would probably prefer you give it up but that would be your choice not mine. Just because people are in relationships does not give them the right to "own" each other. I think a guy would need to be very confident in himself to be able to handle that kind of situation though.

tk said...

Yeah, I think I could do it.

But as a way of thinking about it, how would you feel about a partner who you met as a customer? Or who occasionally got erotic massages? I understand that it's different - you're getting paid, he isn't - but it might bring up similar jealousies.

Also, if I was a customer and started to see a woman I met "on the job", there might be the worry that another customer could replace me.

But once again, I think I could do it.

Porter said...

I definitely could date you ... but I think if it ever turned into anything that would last you'd have to quit.

Even now that I think about it I don't think that even makes sense but I think it'd have to be. I wouldn't care that you did it, I think I would be worried about my boss coming in for a butt release or something.

Riggstad said...

kowing what you do would probably be more of a reason to date you! Of course, thats just me :)

Anonymous said...

PROS > cons

Eric said...

Your job sounds cool, and you'd always have good stories to tell. Sounds like LTR material to me. I'd be flattered that you'd choose me over the dozens of men you see a week.

I'd have a jealousy concern coming the other way. If you'd have me as a boyfriend but also give sugar daddies special treatment, there may be a confrontation brewing. The SD's would see me as the ultimate cockblocker, and may try to take me out of the picture. I guess the possibility of you being taken away in handcuffs at any moment would also give me pause.

Way2Lazy said...

Not to be contrary, but I think the anouncement would be much more difficult to handle after a relationship was established. I'd like to think that I'd understand why you hid your job from me in the beginning, but I'm not sure how I'd feel about the dishonesty that goes along with it. Maybe eliminating a certain number of guys from the dating pool by being honest wouldn't be the worst thing.

decatur said...

Shoot yeah, I could! I went to a female urologist a couple of years ago, and she was really hot (I'm seirously not kidding). I would date her in a heartbeat, and can you imagine, she actually checks guy's prostates (well, us older guys anyway).

The Tickling Master said...

I actually might if she doesn't smoke. Anything has to be better than a mom setting up a blind date & the lady at dunkin donuts telling my mom that it was a very bad idea. Said dunkin donuts lady knew about it because she was the aunt of the blind date.

Mr Begotten said...

I actually dated several..umm... strippers....I never gave a shit. If I was female and could get paid for a good "tease" I'd do it. I NEVER fooled myself into thinking I was anything special, meaning that the jealousy thing was not an issue - I wasn't paying (directly, I mean).
I am a bit different though, CJ - I have never equated sex with love, so what she does to pay the bills is of little or no consequence...in fact, we enjoyed each other a lot more (god they make some money!) None of them liked talking about work a lot, and it isn't like i was just bursting to hear about the hot guy she made out with in the champagne room for $400... so it was all good!

Anonymous said...

what kenny s. said-couldn't be in an exclusive relationship with an erotic masseuse