Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Freaks of the Weeks: Celebrities

You'd be surprised how many famous people pass through here. Not every day, but over the years I've seen actors, sports stars, local TV personalities, etc.

Since we're located very near 2 major highways that lead outta Philly, we get a lot of cross country traffic. So it's not unusual for anyone famous to pass through this area. Local celebs from Philly have their vacation homes out past us and into Amish country or the Poconos. And we also get the sports teams passing between Philly, Pittsburgh and DC through here.

Why a massage parlor if you're famous enough to get laid on your own? Well if you want to remain anonymous, no other customers will see you in a parlor (unlike a strip club). Also, they have more than enough money to get what they want (we're a lot more convenient than picking up girls in the hotel bar). And finally, for the busy celebrity you can get in, get off and get out in less than an hour.

TV actors
This is a weird story. I've had at least 2 actors that I know of. The first guy was from a TV show I follow on the Gay Channel. I thought he looked familiar when I first saw him. Once we were in the room, he mentioned up front that he's on TV. Some of the celebrity types do that to try to get special treatment.

The session itself was relatively normal. I remember that he took a 45 minute topless, but the weird part was during the hand release. While I was jerking him off, he kept saying things like "... I've never had a girl touch me before... Oh this is so wrong... What are you doing to me..." It was almost like he was in his TV character! I'm not kidding you when I say this, but after it was all done, I kinda felt like I had just molested this guy. No joke - I was totally weirded out by it. I was almost convinced that I was the first girl to ever jerk him off. So either this guy really was gay, or he was just an incredible actor.

The 2nd actor guy I recognized as soon as he walked in the door. He was from the SAME TV show as the first guy! They must have talked about this place because he asked for me by name. Anyway, he didn't say who he was - just acted like a regular customer. And when the session was over, I swear - I had barely finished washing the cum off my hands before I was on the internet looking for his picture. And yup - it was him.

Sports celebrities
I don't know how many athletes I've had over the years, but I've seen 'em all: baseball, football, hockey, basketball, and even a pro wrestler! We see a lot of Eagles out here (Go Eagles!), and I've even partied with some at the local bars. Hockey players are by far the coolest because they're not nearly as full of themselves. But the guy I was probably most impressed to see was the wrestler.

The Wrestler was probably one of the most ripped guys I've ever worked on. Other athletes do not even compare! I know it's mostly for show, but WOW - talk about eye candy. He was just the nicest, down-to-earth kinda guy too. And yes - he was one of the Hotties I talked about! Spent the entire session wondering it would be like to wrap myself in that...

Now apart from the wrestler, athletes tend to be full of themselves. They're all like "I bet you've never had a guy like me in before... Am I hot or what... Tell me I'm the best looking guy you've ever seen..." You get the point.

And since they're all rich, you'd think that they'd be throwing money at you, but noooooooo. They start off being cheap because they think they can get stuff off you for free since they're famous. But I've learned this trick from other girls over the years - if you treat them just like any other pushy customer and stand your ground, eventually they'll open those wallets and make it worth your while. Trina once got a $1000 tip from a football player, and she didn't even have to do anything weird!

Local Celebrities
We've had more than our share of local celebrities including TV reporters, minor league sports players, radio DJ's (more than I care to remember), city councilmen (NEVER ours - always next town over which shall remain nameless) and the occasional guy from those really bad car dealership commercials.

DJ's are the most annoying because they think they're famous and demand to be treated so. But I think my favorite celeb of all time was a local weatherman. If you knew just how obsessed I am with the weather, you'd understand. I mean for me, this was MY rockstar. He was your stereotypical chubby, funny weather guy - and I almost died when I saw him walk in. Let me tell you - I must have talked his ear off during the entire session. I don't know if he'd ever want to see me again, because I must have asked him a thousand questions about his job.

This is how starstruck I was - I TALKED THROUGHOUT HIS ENTIRE HAPPY ENDING. Looking back I feel sorry for the guy having to hear me yap away while he's trying to finish. I'm embarassed to say this now, but it went something like this:

Weatherman: "Oooooooh...mmmmmmm... Oh Yeah..."
Me: "So can you actually see the weather map behind you or is it one of those green screens?"
Weatherman: "...Uhhhhh... It's green...Ohhhhhhh... right there..."
Me: "Have you ever seen a tornado?"
Weatherman: "...un huh... UN HUH......... UN HUUUUUUUUUUUH!!!!!"

I think in my next life I'm gonna be a weather girl. Trina said I could never turn sideways because you'd have trouble seeing the weather map behind me.



Michael said...

Ok, so I just came across this blog and find you to be not only informative but hilarious. I'm sure I'll think of some questions in the future. I've gone to many legit massages before and only one time got the surprise of my life a the "end" when without asking for anything I suddenly got an "extra". I think that whetted my apetite to know more about this but haven't done a "happy" yet since. But I'm a curious guy...

Anonymous said...

any more pics of you? you are smokin hot

Tom Moran said...

This was one of your best posts. Very informative and very funny.

And yes, I think we would all like to see more pictures of you. Pretty please?

Drew said...

Thanks CJ! I had a feeling that radio DJs were like that.

By the way, if you don't mind me asking, what bra size are you? My girlfriend is about a 40DDD, and can never find anything that fits at Victoria's Secret.

mark said...

I've only been to strip clubs a handful of times and one time I saw the weather guy I watched every morning; again he was the pale, doughy, funny type. He was there with a bachelor party and was acting like a total a******. Funny thing was that I mentioned I watched him every morning and far from acting like a star, I think he kinda realized he had been acting inappropriately and calmed down some.

Riggstad said...

LOL @ the gay channel!

As I read that, two things struck me...

1) as you suggested, he really was gay and never had a woman touch him before

2) this guy is practicing for a role or a scene where his character goes through something like this on the show.

Funny post C

Double Trouble said...

Clamming up over those washboard abs eh? I guess my most recent purchases of the Ab Roller, 20 min Abs, and Ab-CJ-tastic tae-bo routines should do the trick.

Anonymous said...

hey CJ

I am dying to get myself into one of these massage parlors and we have great ones here but .... I am anxious about my body I am both overweight and probably would cum as soon as she touch my hand! any suggestions?

Anonymous said...

Very good post, loved it!

cj said...

Hey Tom,
I don't know... the pic thing makes me kinda nervous. I still have some digital pics I used in my internet dating days, but I'd have to figure out how to change them so you can't see it's me. Sorry!

Vicky's isn't consistent with other bra makers. Sometimes I'm a 36D and sometimes a 36DD. If you're really that curious about The Girls, read some of my older posts where I talk about it more.

I never thought of that... you're saying I could have been a "rehearsal?" LOL

Don't worry about it. Our job is to make you relax. If I were you, I'd go for a 45-60 minute session. That way you would at least get a lot of body work and have plenty of time to relax and get into the proper frame of mind. Concentrating too much on the end part is never a good thing. Also tell the masseuse ahead of time that you're "quick" and could she put that bit off till the last minute. Good luck!


Anonymous said...


Be very careful with pics. I've seen a lot of pics where people think they are protecting themselves by scrambling a portion (such as a face or distinctive tattoo) with an image editing program but they do it in a way that can be easily reversed. Before you post a pic, have a friend who edits images professionally take a look at protecting your anonymity.

em jay peee said...

send me your pics and I'll edit them for you!

Anonymous said...

Me too! I'll edit the fuck out of them.

wolf biter said...

Let me guess...Hurricane Schwartz?!

Anonymous said...

LOL "have you ever seen a tornado" What not to ask at that moment ;0)

Anonymous said...

I thought, unlike Rigg, that the celeb guy possibly had a kink for that sort of thing. It's not that unusual (heck, read my blog, and I'll tell you all about it) to fantasize about being molested. It's also not that unheard of to fantasize about being the molester, so if it doesn't freak you out, go easy on the poor guys who want you to dress like a school girl. It's their kink. It doesn't mean they'd go for a real underage girl, it just means they haven't been lucky enough to find a partner wired the same way, as I have.

Great stuff! Hope you still read these old entries' comments.

Anonymous said...

i <3 1girl5gays.

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