Friday, March 27, 2009

Freak of the Week - The Narc

Hi - this is "Trina" and I am todays guest host.

"CJ" had a little accident this week and she cant use her right hand. It hasnt stopped her from working. In fact shes sitting next to me right now making jerking motions with her good left hand and laughing hysterically. She told me to write a story.

I can write whatever I want she said. CJ IS A LYING SKANK WHORE WHO BLOWS OLD MEN FOR NICKELS!!!!!

"CJ" just tried to take her computer away from me but shes a gimp right now. So HAHAHA. So here is todays story which happend to all of us here.

I am going to talk about the new "freak of the week." Not all the freaks are fun and games. Take this new guy. Hes not exactly new since hes been coming here and seeing everyone at least once. In fact he just saw "Cindy" this past week (with her giant 7 month pregnant belly). After he left we all compared notes and hes still saying the same story.

Hes a corrections officer but we all just call him "The Narc" for short. How do we know hes a corrections officer? He keeps saying it every 2 seconds. Thats all. Also Cindys seen him down at the courthouse so we know its true.

But why tell us this then expect to get your dick rubbed? There are 2 reasons why cops say this up front. The first is that its their way of saying their cool or their not trying to hide anything and we can relax around them. We get customers who say things like "I work with Officer Jones and he told me to come here". The local cops who come in and even the state cops are pretty cool and they get treated just like everyone else.

The second reason is that guys say their cops to intimidate us in the hopes that we will do whatever they say like cut our prices and do extras. The thing with this second group of guys is that it NEVER works on us. It may work on the new girls but the rest of us know that these guys are usually just really bad liars. I get one of these assholes every now and then and when I do I give them a therapeutic only.

The Narc is from the first group of guys but not in a good way. Hes been tellinge every one hes a cop in the hopes that someone will offer him full service. And it gets weirder. Hes asked everyone (including ME) to see him outside of work.

This is what happens. Hes told each of us the same story: Hes a married guy. Never cheated on his wife before. But he wants a little something on the side. Hes made the exact same offer to every one - $1000 for 6 hours of our time.

Is this the fishyest thing youve ever heard or what????!!!????!! What are you gonna do for 6 hours? And $1000? Sounds like he just pulled that number out of his ass. The whole thing just stinks. at first we all thought that this guy is some kind of serial killer but he is a corrections officer. Or maybe he does want to cheat on his wife but hes just really really bad at figuring out how to do it.

What do you people out there think? We all think hes a fucking nutjob but hes good for $150 per session so were not ready to ban him just yet. I mean he doesnt give off the serial killer vibe (as if Id know the difference). But if anyone out there has seen this scam before write "CJ" and let her know.

xoxo
"Trina"

ps..... what ever "CJ" writes about me is not true!!!!!!

6 comments:

Athena Marie said...

Now I'm from the Harrisburg area, but my co-worker's husband is a correctional officer and he has cheated on her. If it's the same man, God help you both. He is a good looking man though, but he's pretty much an ass. Sorry CJ to whatever happened to your hand, but glad you got a spare!

mommasboy said...

"What do you people out there think?"

He obviously wants sex, but also wants to cuddle. Don't do it, he'll probably fall in love with you, start buying you all kinds of shit, leave his wife, then not understand when you toss him out on his ass.

I knew a couple that went through that. The dork actually cashed in his 401K to keep a stripper he was seeing from bailing on him. The wife found out when she opened one of their statements, but hey 'he was in love...'. No, it wasn't me. She gave me his tools after she threw him out.

"what ever "CJ" writes about me is not true!!!!!!"

yes it is.

Al Sensu said...

I hope CJ can stroke as well with the other hand.

Anonymous said...

That's not even $200 an hour. Tell him to go find a full service escort online, hire her for an hour at her regular rate (not his $166.67 an hour offer or whatever it works out to) until he finds one he likes and she gets comfortable with him, and then splurge on an overnight or whatever he wants his weird six-hour date to be (again at her regular rate).

He's a creepy one, definitely.

cj said...

Hey guys, I'm back!

And yes, my right hand is feeling much better. Luckily I use my left for the happy ending.

Athena,
Could be. Except I don't remember this guy being particularly good looking.

Mammas & Anon,
I think you're right - I think he's looking for what we call a "Girl Friend Experience." Cuddling, dinner, etc. Too bad he's too fuckin creepy.

CJ

Anonymous said...

Silly girls. He's a corrections officer. He doesn't HAVE a thousand dollars.