Thursday, March 5, 2009

I FUCKING HATE SNOW

I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT!!!!!!

Its fucking 12 midnight on Monday. I got home about 10 minutes ago. What's normally a 30 minute drive to work took 2 FUCKING HOURS there and another 2 FUCKING HOURS back. And you wanna know why I drove 2 FUCKING HOURS to work and 2 FUCKING HOURS back? Because Audrey is a FUCKING GREEDY BITCH. That's why.

I called her up and told her it was gonna be a bad one today, but that bitch cunt asshole told us to go to work anyway. Monday is only 1 shift - the night shift, and I got stuck with it during the snow storm. And to make things more interesting, I had offered (for the first time) to drive Cindy to work.

So there we were - stuck in traffic and snow for 2 hours on the way in. Well, at least we had plenty of time to catch up on the last couple of years! Nothing breaks the ice better than to be locked inside of a little metal box traveling 10 miles per hour behind assholes who don't know how to drive in the snow.

Anyway.

Like I was saying, Cindy and I had more than a few minutes to kill on Monday afternoon, so I got her life story. Turns out that the money she stole from me only lasted her a few days. She had pretty much burned all her bridges over the course of a week, so she ended up doing all sorts of things to make a living. She tried her hand at bartending, waitressing, and even hooking.

I know what you're thinking and I'm just as shocked as you are. Cindy does not have the organizational skills needed to waitress. She confirmed this and added that nothing she did lasted very long. Even the hooking, she said, she wasn't very good at.

Cindy explained that she was practicing a particular kind of hooking she called "dating." This involves seeing only guys she knew: friends, ex-boyfriends, boyfriends of her girlfriends, guys from the bar, her drug dealers, and even her old probation officer! The deal was that they'd call her up and she'd come over to their place, hang out for a bit, fuck them, hang out a bit more, then leave with the cash.

But that's not the weird part about "dating." The weird part was that if she needed, say fifty bucks, to score, she would feel perfectly free to call up these guys and make "dates" with them! I was amazed by the balls it must take to call up a guy you know and just say, "Hey... If you're not busy, can I come over and blow you for $50?"

I asked her what's the cheapest thing she ever did. She said a guy once talked her down to $20 to fuck. But the one thing that made her feel the cheapest was when she blew 2 friends in a mens room for $40. This is when she realized she had a drug problem and needed help. Well Duh. Too bad she didn't realize that the day before she ripped me off.

Funny story - Apparently Cindy tried an escort service but it didn't work out. Called up one of those places in the phone book and asked if they were hiring! She talked to some guy who set her up on her first "deal" (as they in the professional prostitution industry called them). As she stood in front of a motel door, she realized that she didn't have what it takes to fuck a complete stranger.

I don't know what's worse - fucking a guy you don't know in a motel room, or blowing 2 guys you do know in a filthy mens room. I'll leave that one up to the philosophers.

I asked what it's like to fuck guys for money, and she said it's not actually that horrible. She would just turn herself to face the wall and just try to tune out till they were done. Said as long as you don't make eye contact, it's easier. Knowing the guys gave her a false sense of security - like she was somehow safer with a familiar face. I guess that kinda makes sense.

And the sessions were all pretty much the same. She'd start by blowing them. While they fucked they'd either say something along the lines of "Oh my Gawd you're so hot..." or "Take it ya fuckin' whore!" Then they'd cum and she would have to push them off her and make small talk for a little bit before heading over to her dealer. It was a routine she lived with for almost a year.

What changed it all was one day she crashed a friends car while driving high as a kite. DUI was the least of her problems, and she ended up in jail for 5 months. It was rough, she said, but at least it cleaned her up.

I managed to get all that out of her during our 2 hours to work and 2 hours back (did I mention that I spent 2 FUCKING HOURS driving to and 2 FUCKING HOURS driving from work?). I don't know if I feel any differently about her, but at least I know what to replace the "......" with when I talk about what happened to the girl who used to be my BFF.

Oh, and no customers came in on Monday.

CJ

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

So did you ask her if she plans to pay you back?

h60pilot said...

I know that this post allowed you to let off some steam....and you were pretty funny doing it.... ;)

Cindy is pretty fucked up....people like her make me realize how good my life is......I am not judging her, so much as my life.....

Tom Moran said...

This one made me laugh outloud. :)

farceur said...

You know...there are places to live down south where they don't get as much snow right?

Cindy sounds like my kinda girl...I could do without the drug problem though...if you are going to work in my line of work, you need your wits about you.

Anonymous said...

Where do I find this girl?