Thursday, December 17, 2009

Lucky........


Well I was planning on talking about how my Xmas shopping is going, but instead I see that some of you out there are obsessed over this idea that I am somehow "lucky" to have this job.

"Lucky" is such an interesting word to use to describe erotic massage. It implies that luck is what gets us here. Is it luck that we get a lot of drug addicts walking through our doors looking for work? Is it luck that the college students blow outta here as soon as they graduate? I don't know, but that doesn't sound very lucky to me.

Or maybe you're thinking that I'm lucky I have a vagina, because it entitles me to a job where I can sit on my ass watching TV in between customers who shovel money into my purse. In that case, I would like to point out that my vagina has never been lucky enough to get me a job at the local plant - where decent-paying study jobs only seem to go to applicants with penises. Believe me - most of my friends and family have tried gettting work there, and a vagina is only lucky enough to get you a gig as a secretary.

And to correct another misconception, it is not "lucky" to watch TV all day. Let me tell ya - every fucking minute that I'm stuck in the lounge watching the clock tick, I am painfully aware that I'm not making any money. We have to cover 8 hour shifts, and that's 8 hours that could be spent with friends and family or ANYTHING more productive than watching TV. And it's even worse when those 8 hours are spent with some bitch that you can't stand.

You wanna know where luck figures into it? I guess that I'm "lucky" to have a cute face and large breasts on a small frame. That has definitely helped in getting new customers. But it's been my personality and massage skills that keep them coming back (no pun intended).

And I guess I would consider myself not so much lucky as fortunate that I have a job that can sometimes break a 6 figure salary. I'm sorry, but I just cannot bring myself to use the word "luck" to describe the hundreds and hundreds of handjobs that I had to do that particular year (Phew!).

Now all of you guys out there should consider yourself lucky that I'm an erotic massage therapist, or else you'd be reading "Confessions of a Grocery Store Bagger."

Today we ran out of plastic and I had to switch to paper. Forgot to double bag a gallon of milk and the bag ripped...

None of those stories have a happy ending.

CJ

45 comments:

Anonymous said...

Trust me, "Confessions of a Grocery Store Bagger" will probably never show up in my blog search results. And, if it did, I'd never, ever, click on it.

Let's just say you're lucky to have so many faithful reader who all love you. (the last commenter excluded)

AJ

3DeepBreaths said...

Everyone has days where they feel lucky and truly enjoy their work , along with the ones that suck the life out of you. Why would things be any different in the world of erotic massage?
CJ you seem a little stressed ,maybe YOU are in need of some touch?
On another note: I'm what you would consider a regular 2-3 visits a month... what are your thoughts on gifts from a regular? I picked up a spa day gift ceertificate for my masseuse , and later started to wonder if I might be crossing over the personal boundry line??
J.

Anonymous said...

Boo hoo indeed. You want a regular job with a regular paycheck? Use your massage certification and get a job at a regular spa.
You can't complain about business when you are working at a erotic massage parlor - the semi-legal to illegal nature of the business is limit the number of clients you have.
Here are two things to think about #1- you think your job is hard? Try digging ditches for minimum wage, makes giving handjobs seem VERY posh.
#2 - don't fool yourself about people returning because of the quality of the massage. Try going a month telling "regulars" that you only will be giving massages from now on - no topless, no happy ending, no mutual. Only massage. See how many continue coming back.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of luck, I'd have to say I'm lucky you're such a good writer. You're funny enough and observant enough that I'm sure even if you were writing about bagging groceries, you'd have a few good tales to tell.

I'm lucky I found this blog, where you've provided a lot of entertainment for me. Thanks.

And I'm lucky I don't live anywhere near PA, or I'd be tempted to sample your skills in person.

Not sure why the other commentators can't wrap their heads around the idea you might not always feel blessed by jerking off dudes. Doesn't seem like you're one of those bloggers who bitches about the men she's making money off of, such as some strippers and "providers" I've come across.

Anonymous said...

Hey CJ - love your blog.

Here's an idea ... why don't you download some free podcasts, and learn a language while you wait? Even if you only take 30-60 minutes out of your intense TV viewing to listen to Spanish, Frech, Russian, Chinese ... you'd finish 2010 with yet another skill. (One which doesn't require your hands :-)

Anonymous said...

3DeepBreaths: Most companies reward their customers for loyalty, not the other way around.

Colin said...

So,"Anonymous" wanker, did you get out of bed on the wrong side this morning? Your tirades on this blog are boring and meaningless, and will do nothing to persuade CJ's readers to walk away or change their minds.

We're here because we want to be here, and she's entitled to express her thoughts and feelings here because it's HER blog! End of story!

You? You're in the wrong place, and if you can't stand the heat you should get out of the kitchen!

Go annoy someone else with your pathetic abuse, or quietly get back into your little corner and jerk off, which is most likely your idea of a good night out.

.

Travis said...

Looks like I'm not the only skeptical of CJ's sob story.

CJ: "Lucky" is such an interesting word to use to describe erotic massage. It implies that luck is what gets us here.

Yeah, pretty much. If you hadn't been born with a vagina, you wouldn't get the job.

Is it luck that we get a lot of drug addicts walking through our doors looking for work?

Drug addicts tend to like jobs that pay decently and don't require much work. As do you, apparently.

Is it luck that the college students blow outta here as soon as they graduate

That's because all the women who are smart enough to realize what a great job you have are also smart enough to realize they don't have to go to college to keep it. If college is so great, why don't you go?

Or maybe you're thinking that I'm lucky I have a vagina, because it entitles me to a job where I can sit on my ass watching TV in between customers who shovel money into my purse.

Sounds fun to me.

In that case, I would like to point out that my vagina has never been lucky enough to get me a job at the local plant - where decent-paying study jobs only seem to go to applicants with penises. Believe me - most of my friends and family have tried gettting work there, and a vagina is only lucky enough to get you a gig as a secretary.

What kind of "plant" is this? A power plant? A manufacturing plant? Because I don't know of any kind of "plant" that pays people to watch TV all day in between customers who shovel money into your purse.

And to correct another misconception, it is not "lucky" to watch TV all day. Let me tell ya - every fucking minute that I'm stuck in the lounge watching the clock tick, I am painfully aware that I'm not making any money. We have to cover 8 hour shifts, and that's 8 hours that could be spent with friends and family or ANYTHING more productive than watching TV.

You have a laptop don't you? There's a blue million things you can do with a laptop. Get an education, write a novel, balance your budget, listen to music, play games...you just need a little imagination.

And it's even worse when those 8 hours are spent with some bitch that you can't stand.

Do you seriously think you're the only who doesn't like their boss?

You wanna know where luck figures into it? I guess that I'm "lucky" to have a cute face and large breasts on a small frame. That has definitely helped in getting new customers. But it's been my personality and massage skills that keep them coming back (no pun intended).

What anon said.

And I guess I would consider myself not so much lucky as fortunate

What's the difference?

...that I have a job that can sometimes break a 6 figure salary. I'm sorry, but I just cannot bring myself to use the word "luck" to describe the hundreds and hundreds of handjobs that I had to do that particular year (Phew!).

Poor CJ. She only "sometimes" breaks six figures. I bet if you won the lottery, you'd complain that you don't win every week.

And BTW, most people work thousands, not hundreds of hours a year.

Now all of you guys out there should consider yourself lucky that I'm an erotic massage therapist, or else you'd be reading "Confessions of a Grocery Store Bagger."

At least grocery store bloggers aren't as condescending.

http://foodplacefun.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

I'd bet anything thats Travis trying to make you think people are agreeing with him.
Lucky or not is relative to what you do. These dickheads are obviously well off enough to afford a computer and internet or have it at work. They're lucky the neighbor didn't fuck them in their asses when they were kids and turn them into drug addicts/alcoholics.
Think about it this way... if a guy was rubbing off chicks coming in for a massage, what percentage of chicks would you actually want to touch? I'd guess 5% at the most. How many guys does CJ wanna touch? I'd guess 0.5%.
The problem CJ is people want to tell you you're wrong for feelings you have and you'll never win sympathy for this... all jobs suck. My jobs sux but at least I can sit and read about you getting cummed on and not actually get cummed on. By the way, if you ever jerked me off I'd be a freak of the week... Mr Supersoaker

With apologies to Travis said...

Colin, Not Travis.

He's a SuperJoker said...

Hey everybody. Look at the Anon at 8:25. Another genius who thinks he's going to get in CJ's pants. Mr. SuperSoaker. BAHAHAHAHAHA.....Defending the honor of a whore because that's all he can get.

Ian said...

on the lighter side of things....

Hey CJ, keep those blogs coming. Thanks you to I was able to receive my very first happy ending massage.

On my second visit, the masseuse, was rubbing the upper thigh and just ever so slightly made contact with my balls on a couple of passes. I had been quiet during the session until then, but I let out a bit of a sigh with each light touch of the balls. Then apparently, also noticing my raging boner exposed it, pointed at it, and said "This?" I of course said, "Yes".

A warm baby oil hand job. I can now cross that off my list of things to do. That was freakin' awesome.

Your blog gave me a lot more confidence in attempting to seek out that service. Thanks for the support. I look forward to be "her" regular.

I feel "lucky" to have found someone to provide that service for me. Thanks also to your blog, I felt a bit more at ease about giving her a hug. I had already turned to walk to the door, then I stopped, stretched out my arms and she came right over and have me a great big hug. Ok, maybe I was just another customer, but she made me feel very comfortable to return to her.

Rose said...

I don't want to rant too much but geez holy shit people are really immature. It's such a shame people always complain bout things without looking at both sides...
And it's enough to keep trying to tell her what to do geez. It's a blog! If everything was so "proper" the way society (or some of you guys) wants things to be then there wouldn't be much there in life.


Oh and CJ, I really enjoy reading your blog. Honestly, I would have no idea about erotic massages. Your blog helped me open my mind up. =)

Johnny said...

Wow, Ian. A hooker made you more comfortable wth finding a hooker. Awesome. It's good that you partake in illegal activities and call it "the lighter side."

When you get arrested, tell the cops, "No, officer. It's okay. I read on a whore's blog that I can get jerked off after a massage and not get into trouble. She made me comfortable about being a criminal."

And she gave you a hug? Wow. There must have been an immediate connection. She's obviously in love with you. It's not because she wants you to come back and pay her more money for something you can do at home for free. It's because she likes you and wants to be your girlfriend. ROFLMAO! BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! RETARD!

And Rose, we all apologize that being "proper" to us means abiding by the LAW. Moron.

Reflex said...

Travis - Still haven't responded to everyone who took your argument apart in the previous post, eh? Can't stand the heat when others put your statistics in context and demonstrate just how misplaced your vagina-envy really is I see.

As pointed out in the last thread by one anon poster, you DO have the option to make just as much as CJ in a similiar line of work. Gay prostitute. Heck, you could even be handjob only like CJ. Sure, its not how you want to behave in regular life most likely, but then I'm pretty sure CJ dosen't give her services to random friends either, she's stated there's a strict divide between her personal and professional life. So you could do the same.

Seriously, its there for the taking. $80/hour, work your own schedule, potential six figure income. Just because you were lucky enough to be born with a penis and without boobs. And you can earn the big money on day one without any training no less.

Post some ads on Craigslist and stop bitching so much.

Lawrence said...

I think it's kind of strange, how much rancor this post generated. CJ has a job, like most of us, and I doubt anyone would describe what she does as a dream job. She is, however (above and beyond whatever professional finesse she has in her wrist) quite talented, and she writes very interestingly about her work.

Mike,,, said...

Feel the love...

Lotta judging going on here.

If you guys are so disgusted by what she does, why are you here reading about it?

She's been pretty honest about what she does for a living. She's been honest of how she deals with it, and has a right to vent. Just because you don't particularly approve of her career path doesn't mean you should shell her ass when she wants to blow off a little steam on *her* site.

I don't know if you noticed, but right now the job market sucks. There a few jobs if any to be had out there, that would even pay close to what she's getting. And if you think that a glass ceiling is as thing of the past, you're sadly mistaken.

I've said it before to you CJ. You're writing skills are spot on. You could turn a lot of these journals you write into a book that would sell. Everybody is entitled to their moment of frustration.

Lighten up..

I mean... Really...

Travis said...

Reflex: Post some ads on Craigslist and stop bitching so much.

Have you looked at Craigslist? There are hundreds of posts per week by gay men who will suck, penetrate, and rub down any man FOR FREE. Why pay for a prostitute when your whole life is an orgy?

(While your on Craigslist, try comparing the number of MFW ads with the number of WFM ads. Especially in the "casual encounters" section. Women and gay men can get sex at the drop of finger, but straight men are SOL)

Anonymous said...

Yeah, anonymously on a blog we think we're gonna get in CJ's pants. Who cares if CJ thinks she's lucky or unlucky. Why is this even an argument? Psychology 101 will tell you they want to make you feel like shit because of their own feelings of inadequacy.

cj said...

Dear Anon (and the others who sound surprisingly like you),

Why so angry? Sounds like someone needs a hug... or at least a really good handjob. And people still wonder why I don't brag about my profession in public. Hmmmmmmmmmmm...

My guess is that Anon (et al.) got burned by someone in the "The Business" and feels like taking it out on little ol' me. Oh well, that's why this blog is anonymous. Can't afford to have someone like this knocking on our doors, holding picket signs in the parking lot, or calling the police.

Occasionally we'll get a guy in who demands full service and when we send them away, he'll actually get mad, threaten us, etc. Funny story - when the last guy tried to pull that shit, we filed a complaint against HIM for harrassment and he ended up getting hauled in by the cops!

And another thing...

"Lucky" to work an illegal job?
"Lucky" to be a prostitute?
"Lucky" not to be arrested?

This is obviously some new defintion of "Lucky" I haven't heard before.

Think I'll play the lottery tonight.

CJ

cj said...

And for all you nice guys out there...

3Deep,
Gifts are fine as long as their not creepy. Jewelry, flowers - kinda creepy. At this time of year, Xmas cards are cool, candy, Gift certificates for local restaurants, etc.

And yes, I can always use a massage. Luckily, I work with masseuses so we just take turns doing body work on each other now and then (without the happy ending).

Nice Anon,
Actually I used to study at work when I was going to the community college. However, Audrey got all weird on us since she thought we were planning on leaving the Business, so we had to do it when she wasn't there.

Apart from that, I'll also read books, use the stair master, or work on my blog.


Nasty Anon,
In fact I work 40 hours a week with 2 planned week vacations per year (so probably more hours than most people). I punch a clock, get an hourly salary (minimum wage), health benefits and pay taxes just like everyone else. I just happen to make mad money in tips!


Rose,
Thank you girl!


And for the rest of you guys who stood up for me... Thanks you guys! You're the best.

And to you all you negative ninny's out there...

Hey - sometimes a handjob is just a handjob. Get over it.

CJ

Anonymous said...

My guess is a Jerry Falwell type sat on his face when he was little. Its not your fault dude and its not CJ's either.

Travis said...

CJ:

"Lucky" to work an illegal job?
"Lucky" to be a prostitute?
"Lucky" not to be arrested?


Yes CJ, you are lucky to be able to break the law while the police turn a blind eye.

Apart from that, I'll also read books, use the stair master, or work on my blog.

So why did you imply you have to spend the whole shifts watching TV? Sounds like someone's exaggerating how difficult her life is.

I punch a clock, get an hourly salary (minimum wage), health benefits and pay taxes just like everyone else.

So on top of your $80/hour service, you also get health benifets and an extra $240 a week? This job sounds better every day.

I just happen to make mad money in tips!

You accept that you make "mad money", and that it's all possible because of your vagina, and you accept that half the population is immediately disqualified from this "mad money" simply because they don't have a vagina.

...and you don't think you're lucky?

Sometimes a handjob is just a handjob

And sometimes a handjob is $80 plus extras plus medical plus hourly wage, with occasional gifts on the side.

CJ, I never criticized your lifestyle, only your attitude. If our culture valued men's sexuality even half as much as women's sexuality, you wouldn't have this career. You would be forced to take a real job, one without $80 tips and stairmaster breaks. I'm not asking you quit. I'm not asking you to apologize. I'm just asking you to acknowledge how good you have it.

Reflex said...

Travis - You need to wander the blogosphere more. There are tons of male prostitutes making a living on homosexual sex. Whether it be handjobs, full service, or even just masturbating on camera, its all there, it all pays well, and it has all the benefits you mention(plus you can afford your own health insurance). You are rejecting this out of hand simply because it punctures your argument.

Come on, get to it, admit how luck you are because you were born with a penis. Admit that if male sexuality were not so valued by certain segments of our culture you could never get away with charging the rates you will get to charge.

Anonymous said...

Funny how the people bitch about CJ's bitching...maybe they need to see how LUCKY they are they don't have to jerk guys off for a living...(I have nothing against it, you go girl)

Anonymous said...

CJ

you have a intermittent service duty job. It's on it's off.

I had that job in college, tending a computer room. Want to know what I did when the printer wasn't running?

I studied. I studied my ass off.
Because I knew in 5 years i didn't want to be doing that job.

Have you thought of studying between clients? Taking accounting classes? Reading up on building code? learning about psychology?

Because if you want to start a tanning salon you will need that.

why not get some tapes on russian or chinese? learn 2000 words in russian, add it to your resume.

A penis gets you no more jobs then a vagina. What gets you a job is a degree.

Reflex = A Gay John said...

Reflex - you seem to know a whole lot about gay prostitution. Frequenter, eh?

Reflex said...

Whether I am or not, I don't consider being homosexual to be an insult. So your comment is meaningless.

But great way to avoid addressing the point being made.

Anonymous said...

CJ--

I have been reading and enjoying your blog for two years now. I'm not sure why the comment section turned into a forum for a few new misogynists, but I suggest your blocking all comments for a few months. That might help shed these new losers and lower your blood pressure at the same time.

Merry Christmas!

Anonymous said...

all you have to do is talk about money jobs and luck then everybody gets fired up

Ed4659 said...

CJ,
You are awesome! Thanks for posting your information and stories for those of us that are interested in reading them.

Double Trouble said...

I DON'T KNOW WHY I AM YELLING!!!!!!

LOUD NOISES!!!!

"If I only had a vagina..." I laugh at a man who seriously wishes for this unless you are struggling deeply with your own transgendered mental struggles. I will assume you aren't.

Wish you had a vagina? No problem Trav, its so easy almost anyone can do it. Just set it and forget it.

First make your down payment of $30K to start estrogen hormone therapy, lose all your friends and family, hire a good psychiatrist to ease your transition into the female psyche, buy some high quality breast implants (unless your man boobs already accomplish this, but I would bet a handjob from CJ that hers are much bigger and nicer), pay out for a good speech therapist to work on changing your voice higher, surgically remove your penis, and then, the denouement dismount, get a job at an EMP and start jerking until your heart is content.

Paradise is just around the corner fella, reach out and take advantage of this wonderful opportunity!

Travis said...

Double Trouble: No problem Trav, its so easy almost anyone can do it. Just set it and forget it.

I don't know whether you're mocking me or my detractors.

At any rate, I think you already know that becoming female is not an easy task. Even the men who go through with come out looking like freaks and end up demonized by their friends and families.

If you must know, I would consider MTF transition if actually WORKED. But as of now, it doesn't

Tae Y. said...

hey cj, have u had any customers who had a hard time (getting it up)? if yes, wht did u do to help them relax more and help them be less nervous/anxious? like if u told them to turn over and they are not hard at all just flaccid, how long does it take u to get them to get hard? like for a handjob? cuz i think i be nervous if i go to a massage parlor for first time, so just n case u kno.

Anonymous said...

Hey CJ,

Merry Christmas from the Leigh Valley. I hope you have a good one. I enjoy your blog.

Michael

Anonymous said...

Ah, how very clever using my name.

Cheshire said...

This reminds me of having non tech people tell ke how lucky I am to have a job on help desk yes it is easy for me and it gives me time to study but it also means that I am stuck with ever pissy client yelling because they have no idea what is going on and demanding that I "make it work NOW" so what I am trying to say is you have my sympathy

Jenny said...

Women are a minority and are not treated equally, especially in the workplace. At my last job, the men got paid twice more than me for doing the exact same job.
CJ, all these men are just angry with you because you have outsmarted the system and I think that makes them jealous. You, instead of challenging their stereotypes of women and what they want them to be, actually embrace them and use that to your advantage. And I think that is the definition of a modern woman.
Men, the tables have turned.
Oh, and just because something is "illegal" in this sexually repressed country of ours, doesn't make it wrong. Look at the Prohibition. There is talk of legalizing "prostitution" and in at least one state, it is already legal.

Shannon Rae said...

Anons, why are you reading?

Shannon Rae said...

Man, I never thought I'd miss the days of Thorn's posts.

GC85™ said...

↑I smell jealousy↑

GC85™ said...

↑I smell jealousy↑

GC85™ said...

↑I smell jealousy↑

Anonymous said...

Awesome read! lol

I'm with those who aren't crazy about CJ's general attitude and some comments, but have no problem with what she does or the fact that she has a blog. If anything, we could use more blogs like this one.

A blog is like a diary, and when comments are invited, though, I don't see why criticism would be unwelcome. But the language used and other "get cancer" cries were completely uncalled for. Lots of hatred out there, geez.

I can't help but commenting on Johnny's attack of Ian's post and experience. You haters, too, need to get real.

Never mind that prostitution is illegal. It's not discussed much here (some sites are dedicated to that, but somehow, CJ doesn't see herself as a sex worker, so...), but the law is stupid.
MANY countries have legalized prostitution or tolerate it, and for good reason:
1. It has been with us forever,
2. It is never going to go away,
3. There is NOTHING wrong with it.
If the puritans were a little more enlightened in this country, the stigma wouldn't be so great, and CJ wouldn't be in such denial about what she is and what she does. It's society's fault before hers. She is made to feel guilty and confused.

As for the bit on hugs, etc... We live in a cold, hard society, people. Everyone is a militant. More and more people are disconnected, and relationships and interactions, virtualized.

Religion and marriage are NOT for everybody. If I wanted to be cruel, I'd say that in those, too, a great amount of denial is required.
So some people don't get much when it comes to human touch (very powerful thing, that). It is not for nothing that massage is called "therapy".
If you think that more contact, up to sexual, is wrong and immoral, that's fine, but not everybody agrees. Many feel that what happens between closed doors and between consenting adults is nobody's business.
So, yes, some people go to masseuses (or sex workers) to be touched and comforted, on top of getting healthier. If you're only even a bit mature, you'll understand that contact is not feeling, although things can get blurry at times.
I've had providers give me a peck on the lips because the tip was nice, or walk me out holding my hand and hug me at the door. It made my day and I never saw most ever again. It's innocent and feels good, and if you think that whores are robots ONLY after money, you're not just uninformed, you're an idiot.
But it wouldn't matter anyway. Ian had a nice time and felt good - that's therapy for you. If he came on here saying that he fell for the girl and she kept breaking his heart by being a whore and reaching for his wallet, now HE would deserve a good ribbing.
But as it is, Johnny and all the strident law-and-order and bible-thumping types, you're the one sounding out of line and your minds.
Don't cast the freaking first stone, or tell people how to live their lives, or how they should feel.

Anonymous said...

I don't get it why you are complaining. Yea, men may get the better jobs, but for the most part that income is used to take care of woman and children.

Also, women in America have many social programs to fall back on that are unavailable to men which is why you rarely see women on the streets.

Lastly, and for the most part, women have the option to quit working and marry a man who will take care of them for the rest of their lives. This is not an option for men at all, in fact if a man quits working society deems him a "looser."