Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Another One Bites The Dust

Well another AMP (Asian Massage Parlor) got taken down last week. No crackdown my ass (no pun intended). Anyway, I say good riddance. You guys out there know how I feel about the AMPs.

The bad thing is that our business took a dive after they got shut down, but that's typical. But by this weekend, everything should be back to normal. And the good thing is that with another competitor gone, we'll eventually see that bump of customers looking for a new place to call home.

But one thing I wasn't expecting to see was a bump in girls looking for work. Remember last week I mentioned that Audrey found someone to help out? Well ever since then, it's like we've had a "we're hiring" sign in our window. Of course it never rains but it pours.

What's interesting though is that I've since spoken with 3 girls FROM OTHER PARLORS. Turns out that with the recent crackdown, all the local full service places are scared shitless. These girls just wanted to lay low for a while and give the full service thing a rest until things blow over.

My guess is that things will finally blow over by the next election. Crackdowns almost always coincide with someone's political campaign. Ever notice how all the potholes on your street get fixed before election day?

Anyway, it's probably best that I'm not hiring anyone now. Full service girls sometimes have problems stepping down to hand-release only - especially when their Regulars start showing up from the old business. Old habits are hard to die.

As for us here at The Business, I actually had what you could call my first ever "Employee Meeting." In light of recent events, the 3 of us sat down the other day and went over ways we can protect ourselves from getting in trouble.

Meeting Agenda: Official Procedures For Offering A Happy Ending

Topics of Discussion:
1) Newbies - no options offered on 1st visit until further notice. NO EXCEPTIONS.
2) ALWAYS give the speech - "If there is any additional area of your body you wish to be massaged, please indicate by placing my hand there..."
3) No references to tipping on phone calls.
4) Conservative dress code re-established until further notice (Gawd - I'm starting to even sound like Audrey)

So we basically just went over everything we should be doing anyway to throw off anyone who's snooping around. The biggest thing we can do to protect ourselves really is to just be extra careful with the newbies. Anyone whatsoever who gives us a weird vibe will get therapeutic only - even after a 2nd or 3rd visit. We all know the drill and I trust Trina and Cindy to be well behaved for the time being. This isn't the first time The Business has gone into "Double Super Secret" mode.

So don't go expecting to see me on the 9 o'clock news with a towel thrown over my head as I'm being lead into a patrol car any time soon...........



Joker_SATX said...

OK CJ, so maybe I missed a post here or there. Does this mean that you are the official owner, head honcho or honcha (if we want our Spanglish to be grammatically correct. Has that decision been made?

Al Sensu said...

A shame you have to go through this charade. Different topics: As you consider going more into tanning, be aware the health reform bill signed today adds a 10% national tax on tanning services.

Anonymous said...

over here in the UK,massage parlours are,by and large,left alone.
There is a legal grey area,prostitution itself is not illegal,but yes,people get arrested.
It's often just a fine though,even for pimps and madams,and they are only really interested in trafficking/drugs/coercion,i.e. the ugly side.
I guess it's a 'stealth tax' on the madams and pimps?
What some parlours are doing now,especially if they get raided,is making sure all their staff acquire an actual massage qualification,even if it is just a 3 day course,just get them something so they at least seem legit,display the certificates,and yes,reiterate to be careful what you say.
The place I visit,the girls just walk right up to me,so that their cleavage is right in my face,while they ask what I want.
Or they just grab my balls if they read me right.

Little Red said...

I tried giving the "put my hand" speech with some of my newbies a while back and they totally didn't get what I meant. Ever have that problem, CJ?

Anonymous said...

I have been working to have Massage Parlors taxed.

I want a luxury tax. In Oakland, CA the marijuana cafes have begun sending special taxes to the city, harassment has ended.

We are going through a shakedown in the MD/DC area as well. If Massage Parlors were assigned a special tax they would never get raided.

Me personally I spend around $200 per visit, $70 for door fee. I go to massage parlors once or twice a month. I could spend $220 and not even miss it.

What are your thoughts CJ?

Anonymous said...

Do you think a massage parlor open until 9pm on a saturday does happyendings? They have all kinds of bullshit on the web page about being legit but I'm fucking scared CJ.

Anonymous said...

Do you think any massage parlor open until 9pm on a saturday would jerk me off? the web page would make you think its legit but i'm scared CJ.

Anonymous said...

Do you have to give the speech to regulars too? They'd be like...wtf? Just tug it!

cj said...

No - I'm not the owner, but I'm still the temporary boss.

Quick update - no word from Audrey yet on her return. I'm guessing she'll be back in May when her personal shit is taken care of. I'm sure you guys have all been missing stories about her!

Here in PA, the state requires anyone advertising massage services to have their massage therapy licenses. Sort of the same thing to what you're talking about. It's supposed to scare off massage parlors, but fact of the matter is that it's not hard to find a LMT to put on your staff - even for show.

Little Red,
That is so funny! Gawd that brings back memories... Yes - I used to get that a lot in the old days, but nowadays guys just seem to understand it better. Maybe it's the internet or something. LOL

Hey Red - when you get a chance, email me. I have some other info on scams guys pull that you could find useful...

I would have no problem with that as long as it guaranteed that we wouldn't get harassed. But in a way they're doing that already. We pay our fair share of taxes as a small business. Audrey has a payroll and everything, so as far as how the Business operates - everything is above board.

One of the reasons why no one is in a hurry to shut us down is that we actually do pay our taxes (unlike the AMPs that have to hide their finances) and pay our rent and utilities just like everyone else.

City Hall may not give a crap about The Business, but it does give a crap about our landlord who has lots of friends up there. So scaring off his tenents isn't in their best interests.

9pm can be legit or not. Email me the link and I'll give you my opinion.

BTW - actually saying you're "legit" probably means you're not! LOL

Last Anon,
No - Regulars don't need the speech. It's just a formality we use with newbies.


Anonymous said...

aahhhhh if ya want any other place massaged or touched, place my hand there!" hahahahahahaha

very interesting...


Anonymous said...

I'm convinced that the speech you give ("If there is any additional area of your body you wish to be massaged, please indicate by placing my hand there") is a particular SOP of The Business, not of any other.
I have never head this in the dozens of parlors I've been in or read this on the other blogs and review sites I've perused, which are many.

The only masseuses who ever asked me something like this did so in known legit places (legit as in "no extras", not like your parlor). So I directed them to my lower back or shoulders as I don't like to play the guessing game.

No, girls in the "extra" places typically ask "what do you want?", or say nothing and wait for the customer to place the request himself. On occasion, they'll point at the guy's hard-on with an expression that means "want this taken care of?". But in general I think they just say as little as possible, and prefer to take a hit at tipping time rather than spell out activities and rates.

Just thought that prospective hobbyists should know what to expect. This blog's advice is very The Business-specific.