Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Freaks of the Week

Today’s freak of the Week isn’t a customer – it’s an interviewee. And let me tell ya, this one was a real clown.

I waited 3 days to write that joke!

You see, she was actually a clown. No joke – a children’s clown. The kind you see at birthday parties with the big shoes and purple wig. Seeing her here was funny and sad at the same time (kinda like a real clown).

Anyway, she came in on Friday for an interview. Tall, chunky, 35 year old brunette with short, cropped hair. Wore a bright red blouse and jeans, and looked very serious. Audrey and I did a double take when we saw “clown” written on her application. Turns out she’s been working part time as a clown for over 10 years. Her “skills” included face painting and balloon animals (can you imagine me painting some guys face like a puppy then putting on a big red clown nose and giving a hand release? LOL – betcha money there’s some guy out there who’s into that).

She got divorced a year ago and has been struggling to make ends meet ever since. Between the rising gas prices and parents not spending $$ on their kids like they used to, her income has just dried up. We asked her if she was sure she was in the right place. She said she had heard about us through a guy friend and was willing to give it a try. I thought Audrey should give her a chance, but she’s funny about people who haven’t been “initiated” into the business yet. I think if no one better comes along in the next couple of weeks, she’ll give her a shot.

Audrey and I have differing views on who makes a good masseuse. I think it’s someone who looks clean, shows up on time and gives a decent massage. She thinks it’s someone who’s less attractive than her and not squeamish about hand jobs.

The runner-up Freak of the Week goes to someone who just walked in off the street and asked for a job. She goes by Nancy, but we all know her as “Trancy – the Tranny Whore.” Anyone who’s driven down South Street at night knows who I'm talking about. She was wearing a peach colored one piece swimsuit under a pair of women’s capri pants. Her sandy blonde hair was pulled up in a scrunchie. Hints of a 5 o’clock shadow were already showing on her chin.

“I hear you’re hiring, and I think you could benefit from my skills,” she said in her sort of weird falsetto voice.

Audrey said “I’m not sure if you would go over well with our customers.” I didn’t say anything – I just stared at her adams apple while she talked.

“Honey, who do you think my customers are?” (Point scored by Trancy!)

Audrey politely let her down, which ended up not being a big deal since I think Trancy is used to rejection. Oh well. She’s fun to look at, but I wouldn’t want to work with her.

On a separate note, the readers poll is moving along. So far it looks like there are more boys than girls reading this thing. But I won’t say anything more till later. Come on girls! If Hillary can stay in the race so can you!



Matt said...

Watch MSNBC tonight :)

Anonymous said...

I've never seen anybody who admits he/she is only there because of desperation get hired. No matter what the job is, people like to maintain the fiction that they are there for some reason other the money, I guess.

Historical Wit said...

Bring in the clowns!

Anonymous said...

i'm a girl and i just started reading your blog, but i started at the beginning and haven't stopped!

Anonymous said...

JUST started to read your blog (female)

and it's all so interesting! :P