Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Freak of the Week - The Hypochondriac

Yesterday I had a guy in who pretty much is the definition of “freak of the week.” We’ll call him Iggy. Anyway, Iggy isn’t exactly a Regular but he’s so unique that we all remember him when he comes in.

Iggy is a total germaphobe/hypochondriac. It knew it was him when I pulled into the parking lot yesterday morning. He insists on being the first person in the room so there’s less chance of “contamination.” In fact, he’s there so early that there’s no need for him to make an appointment since there’s no one here to even answer the phone!

You know how you picture a germaphobe guy to be really skinny and pale? Well Iggy is pale, but he's on the chubby side. I guess food germs don’t scare him too much. He always shows up with a bag full of supplies. First thing he does in the room (after putting on his surgeons gloves) is to peel the sheets off the bed. Then he sprays everything down with his alcohol cleaner, and wipes everything up with paper towels (which he also brings).

He absolutely refuses to have any contact with our sheets and towels. Instead, he lays paper towels over the entire massage table. Then he puts aside the remaining roll plus a box of tissues for me to use exclusively with him.

Iggy always gets the nude option, but will not touch me. I offered him a “mutual” once and he freaked out at the thought. “No thanks, but you girls aren’t exactly clean.” Gee – thanks Iggy, you’re no prize either. He’s usually kinda quiet during the massage since he’s so uptight about everything, but you can tell the massage is working when he starts to open up. He confessed once to going to a strip club. Apparently a stripper leaned over and whispered in his ear, and he ran out of the place totally convinced that he had gotten VD. Washed his ear out with alcohol and went to his doctor. From the way he told this story, I gather his doctor isn’t fond of him either.

He never asks for anything unusual during his session, just the standard massage and hand release. The only thing different, I guess, is that I have to clean him up with the tissues he brought. Afterwards, he wipes himself down with that hand sanitizer stuff he brings in the economy sized bottle. Then I gather all the paper towels and tissues and stuff them in a plastic bag and walk them straight out to the dumpster (remember – we don’t like having used tissues on the premises).

Overall, he’s actually one of the nicer customers. Never grabs or pinches us. Never asks for anything “extra.” Just very business like. Why can’t the rest of the customers be like that?



Anonymous said...

Does he require you to wear gloves?

Voyeuse said...

This is more or less how I felt about the real fetishists who came in. They didn't haggle, didn't push for more, and were, for the most part, rather easy to deal with.
The guys to watch out for if you're working in a dungeon are the ones who -don't- want fetish stuff and are not entirely clear about what exactly it is that we do and don't do. Those guys are much more likely to cause headaches.

cj said...


You got that right. Fetish guys know what they want and how to ask. Even the guys who just ask for sex I don't mind - because at least they're open about it, and will respect a firm "No."

It's the guys that just expect sex from us, but don't say anything that piss me off. They're the ones that will argue with you - like you owe them. My favorite line is "... But that's how they do it at (fill in the blank)..."


Emm Jay Peeee said...

I wonder if the guy gets off a little bit because he's being so "dirty." Weirdo.

About fetishes: do any guys ask for mild ballsack abuse? Is that even considered a fetish?

Sometimes a little tug on one of my boys can help get me going. I don't think I would go for the really rough treatment, but I also never thought I'd like buttplay (done to me.)

cj said...

I don't need gloves with him, instead he insists I use that hand sanitizer. Once I did have this customer who asked I wear rubber gloves for the hand release. He said it felt 10x better than bare hands.

I usually work the balls as part of the hand release if the guys having trouble, so I wouldn't call "mild" abuse as a fetish. HOWEVER - I've had guys ask for SEVERE abuse which I would definitely call a fetish. I could write pages on those guys alone! LOL


Henrietta Hussy said...

jk haha

Slutty McWhore said...

I'm not a germophobe, but I NEVER wash the sheets I use with my clients along with my own clothes. The idea of their sperm floating around in the washing-machine in the water until it got washed away really grosses me out. I also NEVER use any of the towels they use on themselves, even though I always wash them at a really high temperature.

cj said...


Isn't that gross? Ewwwwww. Our sheets are done by a service. The towels are washed in the business.

Maybe you should take your sheets to a laundermat. Then the little spermies would be the public's problem! LOL


Anonymous said...

Wow. I thought I was bad. I'm like that but I don't impose it on others or make rude comments.

For my time at the parlor, that I like as "dirty" as possible, I just bite the bullet and forget about what I "know"... like what happened on the sheets I'm laying on, or how sperm floats around in the washer.

I do make a point to be the first customer of the day, wherever I go, but that's really a minimum.