Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Internet Dating

Ya see that picture from my profile? That was taken a couple years ago when I first tried internet dating. Now I didn’t do anything normal like Match or E-Harmony or something like that. Instead, I went on this website that specialized in Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby relationships (yes – I was a gold digger back then). Let me tell ya, I had some of the funniest guys writing me. And I don’t mean funny ha-ha. I mean some of these guys were really bizarre and full of themselves.

The first category of guy I’d call the “Form Letter.” These were the ones that wrote a long response about how successful they were, but just needed that special someone (other than their wife in some cases). I called them “form letters” because they were generic, never referred to anything I said in my ad, and could be sent to anyone.

Then there were the “Nice tits!” guys. Gee – I feel so flattered. NEXT!

And finally, there were the real deals – guys that would actually write something interesting or funny in response to my ad. I ended up chatting with a bunch of these guys. I just loved how they wanted to pick me up in their private jet, or sail on their yacht, or shop in NYC. One guy actually asked for my Paypal address so he could start sending me money!! (No – I didn’t give it to him. What kinda girl do you think I am?)

I just enjoyed chatting anonymously with these guys more than anything. In fact, that’s where the name CJ comes from – it’s my internet name. I’d even go so far as to send a couple pics of me with the eyes blurred out (thanks in part to photoshop). But I think what really turned me off to actually meeting any of these guys was the fear that most of them were pimply faced 16 year old boys living in their parents basement, or serial killers. Know what I mean?

However, there was 1 guy that actually persuaded me to give him my number. He said he was this rich businessman who wanted to spoil me rotten. He was definitely the most interesting and believable of the guys I had been talking to. We talked a few times on the phone and eventually he said he could meet me as he was “passing through” these parts.

I don’t know why I agreed, because I felt really really weird after saying yes. I thought 3 times about just cancelling, but he sounded sooooooooooo nice on the phone. Oh well. I went through with it and met him at a local restaurant. BUT as I had feared, he was anything but a rich businessman trying to spoil me rotten. He was just a lonely traveling salesman with no money and a wife who didn’t “understand” him. We still had a nice dinner and we talked for a bit about his personal problems, but that was about it.

That’s when I gave up the internet dating thing and did things the old fashioned way – meeting guys in bars. That’s how I ended up with that last jerk.

Why am I talking about internet dating? I’m seriously thinking of jumping online again. Partly because I’m getting bored with the Brad Pitt clone, and partly because everyone on this blog thing has been so nice to me. I think I miss the anonymous computer chatting. And I promise to try a more normal service this time like Match or something. I’ll keep you posted if I find anyone interested in dating a blonde, scorpio, shampooer who likes long walks on the beach…

CJ

19 comments:

just bob said...

Damn, and I'm no where near SW PA :(

Anonymous said...

Going with one of the more "normal" dating site will probably yield fewer "pretenders" that the sites you used previously. But no site will be completely free of them. (this is the internet, after all)

It will be interesting to hear about how this goes.

How will you handle guys that ask lots of questions about your work? Will you simply not reply to them or give them short answers that leave out all the juicy details?

AJ

AR said...

would you be willing to date someone from nyc? is that too far?

crossing my fingers!
ar

Athena Marie said...

I can't wait to hear how it goes. Being recently single myself, I've thought about doing it. I hope it works out for you. I have a friend that met a wonderful man off of e-harmony. I go out to bars and see all the men as douche bags though. I was with my ex for 14 years so I never dated anyone and never had to play the "game." Good luck and I hope someone great comes along!

mnwhr said...

Having never use the net to meet anyone, i'm interested in how your experience goes. Good luck in advance.

ez cheese said...

Go see Pitselah, she has written a lot about internet dating

http://angelasshole.blogspot.com/

emmm jay peee said...

Go for it, CJ. Bar hookups never worked for me as well as the internet has.

Believe it or not, I actually just married a gal I met on match.com. We've been together 3 years now. She thought my profile was funny. I thought her face was nice.

The Girl in the Mirror said...

I vote for OKCupid. That way, if all you meet are weirdos and 16 year old pizza-faces, you can write it off as doing it for the quizzes. :)

RIV said...

Well, with whatever service you choose, I just wish you the best and I hope you have a blast. Pity I'm no where near your area, though. But whatever. :)

Purple Knave said...

Internet dating is so much easier when everyone is honest. I suggest you tell the guys that if they lie about anything, you'll walk. And if they do lie, follow through with it. Life is too precious to be spent with liars.

You might even try craigslist. If you post a pic, you'll have at least 50 suitors to choose from. Some of the guys there are actually worthwhile.

leebee said...

Net dating is a great way to find a great guy... you can weed out all the idiots before having to spend your time actually meeting them...
I met my current bf online 2 years ago... and we're still going strong.
I totally recommend net dating to anyone!

cj said...

AR,

Sorry! NYC is too far away!

CJ

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ContinuousButPlural said...

You're a Scorpio! I was thinking Virgo, since you are a masseuse. I'd love to look at your chart.

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Rebecca said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I don't know what's more disturbing: that some advise a self-professed gold-digger about the best way to score a sugar daddy, or that others would like to have a shot at her.

And to those wondering why I'd even be here, if so easily shocked, I'm a whoremonger and dig the massage world. No issues with working girls. But the sugar daddy hunt is a little disgraceful to me. That only poseurs and wannabes respond is poetic justice and pure logic in my book.

Seriously, girl, good luck with THAT... I know how the rich pick up gold-diggers voluntarily, and it's not online. No shortage of those women in their lives, you see?

Ryutso said...

Ha! Blonde and a scorpio? Nice, me too!