Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Confessions of an Erotic Sex Toy

I got the comment the other day asking "What's the difference between a 'strict business transaction' and you being a 'rented sex toy' if you charge someone $50 to do something sexual to you?"

I didn't find it offensive, but I did find it annoying. It's an attitude that's not uncommon with some of the newbies out there that comes from a naive understanding of what goes on in a massage parlor. Well lucky for you guys - that's why I'm here... to teach you guys about these things!

First off, let me explain that an erotic masseuse (or any other person in the so-called "sex industry") is NOT a sex toy. A sex toy is a piece of plastic that you can do whatever perverted thing you want with. An erotic masseuse is a girl who provides a relaxing massage followed by a happy ending, usually performed with the hands.

Hey - we provide a service just like anyone else in the service industry where everything is negotiated up front. Would you walk up to a waitress and take whatever food she's carrying? No. Just because she's "your" waitress, doesn't mean she's carrying "your" food. Calling a masseuse a "sex toy" is like calling a waitress a "stove." (And bravo to the guy who said "accountant" vs. "adding machine"!)

It's the same thing with us. When you're in my session room, you have to negotiate for services rendered just like anyone else. What some of the newbies assume (incorrectly) is that they "own" us for the next 30 minutes and can do whatever they damn well please because they're paying for it. They start off all pushy and grabby, and then act surprised when you tell them to back off. I got news for ya - you're not paying to remove the word "No" from my vocabulary. That seems to be the biggest misconception about "sex workers" in general - that anything goes just because cash is involved.

Case in point - About 2 months ago, I had a Mexican guy come in and ask for a 30 minute session. When I joined him in the room, he was sitting in the chair fully clothed, but with his pants down around his ankles. When I asked him what the fuck he was doing, he said he just wanted a blow job. I told him this is not that kind of place and he started to argue with me. Apparently he didn't understand the difference between a massage parlor and a brothel.

Now when I pointed out that this guy was "Mexican" it's because in Mexico (so I've been told) there is virtually no difference between a brothel, massage parlor or strip club. Down there they are all one and the same. I didn't get offended by him, I just had to carefully explain things to him. When it finally registered with him what I do for a living, we both had a laugh and he settled in to a normal session.

I hope this clear things up for some of you out there. Now go on out there and get some massages. I had to work on Saturday and business was totally dead!

CJ

10 comments:

Skip Cunningham said...

I didn't mean to annoy you, CJ, but your statement that you're not taking money to remove the word no from your vocabulary is not consistent with the statement that "when a guy starts to act like an octopus, I generally just tell him to either back off, or fork over an extra $50."

That's all. No offense.

Anonymous said...

CJ,

Hands off the cookie? But, a lot of guys love cookies so do they have to go to another bakery? Do you ever let anyone sample your cookie?

Cookie Monster

greenhornet said...

Hey Skip, there is a huge difference, and cj's statement do not contradict each other at all. In the quote where she wants an extra 50 dollars for grabby/feely, the difference is it is CJ's choice. It is her body and she dictates who, what, and how much. Whereas sex toys for that matter, have no choice and do not have any say in the matter.

Anonymous said...

hey CJ! i was suprised you haven't mentioned anything about Michael Jackson. Here in UK it was a biggie. Anything to say? Regards

Mr. Poopie said...

So, I've been a little curious... You say that you're a 20 something and that you've been doing what you've been doing for 10 years. Let's postulate that you're at least 28, because if you were any younger, that would mean that you've been jacking guys off in massage parlors when you were under age. And I certainly don't want to believe that.

Now, with that being said, here is another thing I'm curious about. How is it that you've been conducting illegalities for so long without getting caught? Or, have you gotten caught, paid the fines, and kept doing it anyway? Do you move from place to place? I mean, I would imagine given your geographic location, there aren't too many places to go...

Like I said, just curious. From one body worker to another.

cj said...

Skip,
You're still not getting it. The point I was trying to make with that statement is that guys tend to behave themselves once they realize this is not personal - it's business. And when you put a price tag on something, they suddenly "get it" and will start to act professionally. It's weird how the guy's mind works.

Anon,
No cookies. Never. I usually refer them to another bakery! LOL.

Other Anon,
Michael Jackson? I was totally shocked like the rest of you. I mean, he was HUGE for a long time. Sad thing is that he was staging a comeback when he passed on.

I'm not sure I can put that in the context of a massage, except for the occasional guy who comes in wearing a "Thriller" type jacket! LOL.

Poopie,

Always be careful asking a lady about her age. LOL Anyway, you really do need to read some of my earlier posts on how we stay in business. Short answer - never had any problems because I'm not stupid. And I've always been careful about where I've worked. When trouble starts to brew - time to go!

CJ

Anonymous said...

CJ,

Okay, I get it – the cookie jar is closed. But, I really like seafood – is a bearded clam on the menu?

This is why I love this blog because you are very cool and discuss everything from sex to current events including Michael Jackson.

Clam Lover

Anonymous said...

Ms. CJ,

Here in Peckerwood, PA, my favorite Asian massage therapist is Ms. Lily Sharp Elbows. She was inspired by your blog so she started her own called www.blogger/Me.So.Horny. Her blogging is limited, however, to simple phrases like – Me So Horney, Love you long time, Hey GI, You take care of me for extras? Lily provides a great service but I wish she wouldn’t answer her cell phone during the happy endings.

Stroke King said...

i guess being a erotic masseuse is a tough job.did you always got indecent proposal?

Anonymous said...

Anon of 7/2/09 9:36 AM, you have a Chinese masseuse in a jack shack. No offense to them, but they are known to do stupid shit like take care of a customer while no one is minding the desk, and unprofessional shit like answering phones, or stopping a massage to go feed the meter, talk to a friend, answer the door, etc.
I think it's mostly the owners' fault, since they think nothing of manning those joints with just one or two chicks at times.
If you coax a greedy one into having sex, AND she doesn't claim to have her period to get out of it (usual excuse)... she'll make you regret it by impersonating a starfish on the table (or actually being on her period, BTDT).
And the attractiveness level is rather low.
So I quit going to them, although they're cheap and easy to find, and some ladies WILL surprise you with their technique, massage and all.

The above comes from an Asian-lover, BTW. The Korean places are just more professional AND offer all manners of cookies and clams, bearded or not, and other delights. The Chinese girls I've seen in KMPs were different from their jack shack sisters, for some reason (could be better management).

Oh, and I know you guys are trying to be funny, but "sucky-fucky" and "me so horny"... I've only heard in movies. Real life Asian providers don't talk much (good).

CJ is right on the tendency of some guys to think they can do whatever because they are paying customers. No, they don't get it. They just objectify women and think that pros will let them get away with crap that normally gets them slapped or arrested.

These jerks just see you as a toy... and this is what happens when you use a pair of boobs to represent yourself, BTW.