Thursday, July 2, 2009

HappyEndingz - International Edition: South of the Border

Since I mentioned Mexico last time, it reminded me of a funny story. So I've decided to make it the 2nd installment in my series on "HappyEndingz - International Edition."

I had this Regular who used to travel all over the country for work. He told me this story about the time he decided to break in the new guy on the crew by taking him to a strip club in Tijuana or something. Remember what I said last time about how in Mexico there's no distinction between strip clubs and brothels? Well, apparently it wasn't uncommon to see the girls blowing customers under the tables in this joint - it was that bad.

So the new guy - Kevin - is the guest of honor and the guys buy him rounds of shots till he's nice and happy. That's when they introduce him to a very lovely girl...

"Hello there. My name is Kevin, what's your name?"


"That's a very pretty name. It's nice to meet you Maria."

"Hola Keveeen."

"This is a cool place. You like working here?"

"Sucky fucky 15 dollars."

"This is my first job. I just graduated from the University of Tennessee. Where did you go to school?"

"Sucky fucky 15 dollars."

"I guess it's OK so far. The guys here are all pretty cool. Do you like the girls you work with?"

"Sucky fucky 15 dollars."

"So uh... How much to go upstairs?"

Upstairs is where most of the action took place. Maria leads Kevin in to a pitch black room and sits him in a chair. Without a word, she undoes his pants and pulls them down around his ankles. She starts blowing him and apparently he's loving it, but after a few shots he's too relaxed to cum quickly. He starts to moan and Maria quickly puts a finger to his lips. She takes his dick out of her mouth long enough to whisper "shhhhhhhh."

A couple minutes go by and he's starting to get into it when suddenly he's blinded by the room lights coming on. Kevin blinks a few times and looks around... the place is packed with other guys silently getting blowjobs.

And standing at the door with his finger on the light switch is the biggest, toughest, meanest looking Mexican he's ever seen. He gives the entire room a dirty look and says loudly "30 dollars."

Kevin looks down at Maria for help. She just kinda shrugs her shoulders as if this is a normal part of foreplay for any blowjob.

The Big Guy begins to walk around the room taking a collection. When he finally gets to Kevin, he asks "So does this include the 15 dollars I already paid downstairs?"

Apparently the Big Guy isn't used to questions, but is more than happy to entertain them. He thinks for a moment and answers in his best english "30 dollars."

"Yes, but what I'm asking is whether this includes the money I paid downstairs, or is it on top of that?"

"30 dollars."

"I understand that it's 30 dollars now. But if you're saying that it's an addtional 30 dollars above the 15 I've already paid, then I think that's unfair considering..."

After a very lively debate with the Big Guy that ended with the words "30 dollars," Kevin realized just how weak his position was (sitting in a chair, pants down around his ankles, half limp dick in the hands of a pretty Mexican prostitute, under the shadow of a very large Mexican man) so he dug into his wallet and handed the money over.

With the last of the money collected, the lights went back out again. Poor Kevin was a bit shaken by all this, so he apologized to a very confused Maria that he couldn't finish. With a very concerned note in her voice, she inquired "Sucky fucky 15 dollars?"

He just got up and went back downstair. He never saw the lovely Maria ever again, but his co-workers didn't stop laughing about it until long after they came back across the border.

And they said NAFTA wouldn't work.



Flyinfox_SATX said...


Anonymous said...

Hilarious - great story!

mommasboy said...

Great fucking story.....

Anonymous said...

Wow, I almost feel bad for the guy. Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Please tell us more scary stories about all the other whores, especially non-whites! There really is nothing like home, I men, The Business!

Not saying that the tale is fake or unfunny, but it's become clear, reading this blog, what the agenda is.

Anonymous said...

"I mean" is what I meant. =)

Jeff said...

I grew up about an hour from the mexican border. Or should I say a drunk hour followed by sardine can taxi ride to revelucion street. Where every 18-20 year old goes (back before they started skinning/kidnapping/killing/robbing americans) $30 isnt bad, at least once a week there was a story of how Boner #1 and Boner #2 went to TJ and Boner #1 got the sucky fucky special and turned out it was either:
A) a man
B) a setup, while Boner #1 had dick in grip of mexican service worker, his wallet and all cash would be stolen, he is then either turned over to the federalies/beaten to pulp/forced to relinquish all clothing to pay for good times/or Boner #2 pays)
C) setup #2 they follow dude out and beat him and Boner #2 and rob them
D) Has contracted an STD because seriously they have no rules...
E) Girlfriend followed and now he is in a Jerry Springer episode.

There is always the fun ordeal with the federaliies too.. but that is for another topic ('Release' for getting released)