Thursday, June 17, 2010
Tales of an Ugly Stepsister
OK - I'm back. Things have finally settled down, but OH THE DRAMA. I guess Audrey and I needed to have it out. We may have had a few disagreements in the past ("You stole my customer!", "I need you to work Saturday," "Why is my keyboard sticky?" etc.) but we do agree on one thing - the Business could use some extra help.
Now I'm not talking about another masseuse. I'm talking about someone to take care of all the non-handjob related stuff around here (this business ain't all glamour ya know).
So this is where another member of the Audrey Clan comes in. This time it's the older sister (and in this story I'm Cinderalla of course). Turns out that Audrey is the only "success" story in that family - being a genuine business owner and all. There are other bizarre members of Audrey's family I could talk about, but that's one trailer park I don't want to empty out just yet.
I'll affectionately refer to my new co-worker as "Maude." And I say co-worker, because technically she won't be telling us how to do our jobs. I'll still be in charge of schedule, but Maude will be a sort of Office Manager I suppose. She'll answer the phones, schedule appointments, order supplies, and clean the place. I think Audrey's doing it this way just to give Maude a source of income.
And don't worry - there's no secret plan for her to start stealing our customers. If you saw her you'd know why. She's around 50, short and very heavy set. The word "plumb" comes to mind when describing her. You wouldn't want to see her topless, let alone handling your junk.
She's supposed to start in a couple of weeks. I guess she's waiting to put the wheels on her place and get it towed over to this side of the Poconos. I'm not holding my breath over it since she may be a fuck up just like everyone else in that family.
Now thinking back to when Audrey and I had our fight, she did say that she was going to put her little sister in charge. Turns out she meant it only as a threat. Even Audrey's not that stupid. But I can talk more about that train wreck later.
And in case you were wondering, during my week off, I actually did 2 nights in my new gig as a bartender. Let me tell ya - that work is HARD. You bust your ass, break a sweat, stain your clothes and come home smelling like beer. But I have to admit that it was kinda fun flirting with customers and cracking jokes and stuff.
I had a couple of drunken college boys daring me to "... show us your tits!" I looked them right in the eye and said "Sure. $80." I think my dead serious tone of voice shut them up. The funny thing is that I wanted to add "... G-string is $120 and nude is $150."
If they only knew.