Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Good Riddance Luna

Hey guys – it’s been another weird week. I was gonna talk about an extra special Freak of the Week, but the big news instead is that Luna got fired. It was just a matter of time. We’ve all suspected her of stealing from each of us plus the business, but Audrey actually caught her stealing from the cashbox last week. I don’t feel too bad about seeing her go since I also had money missing from my purse recently.

Still, it’s a shame since I’ve been working with her for half a year now and she was struggling to pay her bills just like the rest of us. But stealing from your co-workers is really not cool.

The good news is that business in general is finally starting to pick up. I can’t explain why, but we’ve been getting a lot of new customers lately. That’s fine by me since it gives me a chance to gain a new Regular. Plus, new customers tend to be more free with their money since they don’t know what to expect yet.

Now one of the interesting things about Luna being gone is that we’re starting to realize just how many Regulars she had. Boy – she was a lot more popular than we thought! I wouldn’t be surprised if she was letting guys do stuff to her in the room (I mean – she is an ex-hooker you know). Times have been tough, and you gotta do what you gotta do. Heck – even Trina has started letting guys finger her for $100. Ewwwwwww.

Apparently, Trina has started offering the option to finger her to new customers. The way she explained it to me was that new customers were safer than Regulars, because chances are you’re never going to see them again; whereas Regulars can’t be trusted with a secret, and it’ll get back to Audrey pretty quick. I can see where she’s coming from because I’ve gotten some of my best dirt from Audrey’s Regulars. But I warned Trina that if a new customer comes back, there’s a good chance he’ll mention the fingering option to the next girl he gets. Oh well.

Yours truly has not yet resorted to letting guys finger me. I’ve had to tighten my belt too, but lately I’ve been letting my ex-boyfriend from Jr. High School spend money on me! But that’s another story for later…

Audrey is also starting to feel the impact of Luna. Just this past week, she’s been getting these guys who come in and ask for Luna. Then as Audrey explains that Luna’s no longer with us, but she’s available – they just turn around and walk out! Now she knows how we all feel when her skanky Regulars come in looking for Full-Service. Sucks, doesn’t it bitch?

Now in memory of Luna, I will leave you all with one of my favorite Luna stories…

Luna was a big fan of the (as I like to call it) Slutty MILF look. Just imagine a bleach blonde girl with the big hair and heavy eye makeup of the 80’s – now age her 30 years. That’s Luna. We all agreed that the giant hairdo of hers wasn’t doing her any favors. So anyways – one day she wraps up a session with one of her Regulars and comes out of the room. She goes back and washes her hands in the kitchen sink, then walks into the break room. Let me point out that the session rooms are always kept dark, but it’s nice and bright where we are. Well, she starts talking about something or other, when we notice something shining on the top of her tall hairdo. Trina kicks my foot and motions for me to look at her hair.

On top of that fluffy, hairsprayed, blonde mess, there was a gob of semen – about an inch long – hanging from her topmost strands of hair. And it’s just waving and flapping and jiggling with every jerk of her head! And the best part is she can’t see it because her hair was soooooo tall, that it was completely out of her line of sight. So we’re just sitting there staring at her hair. I’m sure she was saying something important, but we were both completely mesmerized by that shining string of jizz. Even now, I’m shocked that she didn’t notice the dumb stares on our faces.

Well, being the loving, caring people that we are, Trina and I didn’t say a word and just nodded and agreed with whatever she was saying. I don’t remember if she had any more customers that day, but we kept our mouths shut and didn’t have a real good laugh until after she went home. For all I know, she could have gone out grocery shopping with that little token of love dangling for all to see.

I know I’m going to Hell for that one, but it was sooooooo worth it.



zencycle said...

Hair Jizz......HAH!

Corkdork said...

Heh. A "There's Something About Mary" moment in real life. Great!

Hey, Luna going means there's more opportunity for you to catch new Regulars, right?

The Bastard said...

Maybe the increased clients are due to the stimulous packages!

I'm certainly trying to convince Mrs Bastard that a happy ending massage is just what the ecconomy needs.

Capsule said...

This post got me thinking... what is your end goal? You mentioned you won’t tell your BF’s about your profession, which leads me to believe you don’t want to settle anytime soon (you can’t be a shampooer forever, right)? You also mentioned not dating clients, so I’m also assuming you’re not waiting for a Sugar Daddy Brad to come whisk you away either?

Is there a certain monetary limit you have set, and once you reach it you’ll go legit or retire?

Finally, if Trina is starting down the dark side, is that a path you’re willing to tread to in order to pay the bills or meet that goal (should it apply)? Or would you find alternate ways to make ends meet before that’s an option?

I guess this is that whole, “Where will you be in 10 years” school assignment...

So how about it, CJ... Where will you be in 10 years?

Reggie Ray said...

I think she is far too disgusted with the people who come to the business to do anything more than what she is doing now
; )