Thursday, April 3, 2008

This One is for the Girls

So the other week I was hanging out with some friends at the bar when in walks a couple of girls from The Business across town (*** from now on I’ll refer to them as “The Other Place” since I refuse to give them a plug ***). Now the massage business is a relatively small world, so I tend to know most of the other girls in some way – worked together, shared some pot, fucked their boyfriends – you get what I’m saying. I wouldn’t call them our competition either, since they’re pretty much full-service and we’re not (at least most of us here aren’t!).

When a new guy comes around asking us for full-service, we politely refer him to the local weekly rag (where The Other Place has an ad). We used to just send them over there until we had a really bad experience. One day some asshole comes in looking for a particular full-service girl and we automatically referred him to The Other Place. Turns out he was a stalker, and the girl he was looking for had just switched businesses in an effort to avoid him. Since then we’ll never refer anyone, or acknowledge we know anyone at the Other Places.

Anyways, I remember Sarah from when I used to work at The Other Place in the old days. We’re still friends and call each other now and then. Well, she walks in with one of their new girls (we’ll call her Andrea since I hate the name Andrea). One of the guys in our group turns and asks me “Who is that? And would you look at those!” The last time I saw Andrea, she was a short, dumpy, brunette who probably went full service because she was a lousy masseuse. I am not kidding – now she looked like someone took a bowling ball, cut it in half, then glued the pieces to her upper torso. And her shirt was so tight I swear you could see the holes for the fingers.

The boys couldn’t stop staring.

Trina leans over and says “Fake tits. Fake lips. And she’s bowed legged.”

Luna added “I’ve seen better dressed crack-ho’s. And I would know.”

Beer almost came out of my nose at that one. Then I added, “Without those heels she’d be a midget.”

What is it with guys and fake titties? I’ve already talked about what I think of implants. They’re really not necessary in this line of work. They make you look like a stripper and don’t help a business that’s trying to look legitimate. I’ve worked with girls with implants before, and I don’t know how many times I’ve heard the guys complaining about how they should never have changed their looks, etc. I agree - and that’s not just because my real ones are nice!

I swear – you could slap tits on a dog, and guys will still drool. Guys are so stupid.



Mark said...


I agree with you regarding implants, I really do not like them. Especially when they are obviously fake, I just don't get the attraction and have in the past tried to dissuade women from getting them.

It should be said, that I am more likely to notice a pretty face or a round bottom, so we all have our prejudices.

em Jay Pee said...

I second zencycle's motion. What a photo! What does your green shirt say?

What does it take to view them in person? Did you say $80? Why don't you set up a paypal account and a webcam?

zencycle said...

Hey CJ,
I linked your post on the priests to a discussion group I belong to. There are men and women members of this group, and one of them asked if I thought your blog was real. I was hoping you might reply back with the address of your spa.

We agree your writing is quite good. It's refreshing to see a woman with a healthy open attitude about sex that has good english comprehension and composition technique.

Lastly, I wouldn't supposer there was any chance of getting a better shot of your magnificent mammaries?

Just thought I'd ask.

cj said...

Hey guys!

I've told you before, if you wanna see the girls, it's $80 for topless. Sorry - no webcams and no addresses for obvious reasons.

And Zencycle...

All my stories are real, but the names are all changed to protect the guilty. Very few people outside the business have truly believed some of the wacky shit that goes on around here, so that's why I decided to put it all online so SOMEONE might enjoy them before I retire.

And I'm glad you all like my pic. If I get bored enough later, I may explain where it came from.


ez cheese said...

Don't go that far CJ. Fake tits are the bane of my existence. We all might be stupid, but some of us have some taste.

Anonymous said...

Yes, some men go nuts for tits. I love tits, but I know I can still think. What about you guys, losing your shit because of a couple of (not very good) pics?

But here you are, CJ, calling us dogs and flaunting your own rack, and saying how nice and real they are, so much better than those of the less fortunate females who resort to trickery to do the same thing that you do (catch dogs).
Aren't you lucky that we are so stupid?

Anyone pick up on the same familiar dynamic, here?

Don't go to AMPs (mob), escorts (drugs), or full service skanks (STDs)... come to MEEEE, with my license and nicely painted "trying-to-look-legitimate" spa! I'm so much better than them, and you should call the cops as soon as you see one, BTW!

Jeff said...

I am an ass man, let me start by saying that. But i like fakies, and I think it stems from watching boobs drop after looking so good in that lingerie or little top, supported by a bra or something of that fashion.

A few women i have known in my past have just looked amazing, until she is on her back and they are creeping into her armpits.
I like them to look good and firm in and out of the packaging, and if you get a session on, believe me, they can bounce!

Anonymous said...

Fake tits look great while clothed. Naked, they just look wrong most of the time. Occasionally a boob job will look passable.