Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Q&A 1

Wow - I got a bunch of interesting questions and comments from you guys this week. They were good enough to share with everyone, so I thought I'd try something different today and just do a Q&A. It's a nice break from trying to figure out what kinda stories you guys would enjoy. So here goes...

My First Q&A Session - by CJ

Does the "touching within reason" ever do ANYTHING for you? Or is it just noise that you tune out?

Depends on the guy and the touching. When I guy is on the table and just grabbing my tits and ass, I just tune it out. But there’s an option I offer for Regulars called “Mutual Massage” where I spend half the time massaging him and he gets to spend half the time massaging me. During a mutual, I can usually count on enjoying my half of the deal since the guys always do their best to make me happy! Talk about attention to detail… guys will rub my feet, my head, my neck, you name it. Ask a boyfriend for a massage – and all I’ll get is a few rough rubs across my back before he rolls over and asks for sex.

Has a guy ever gotten you excited while you're getting him excited?

Interesting question. Believe it or not, I’m actually fascinated with a guys ejaculation. I enjoy watching a cock twitch then shoot its little streams of jizz. I don’t know what it is, but I just get a real kick out of that. And it’s more of mental turn on if anything – not sexual.

Now have I ever been turned on by any guys in particular? You bet! We’ve had hot guys in here, and guys that are just so sweet and charming it’s a wonder I didn’t go home with them. A lot of it is having that right attitude. But it’s not that often that I get turned on during work, and when I do I usually just go home and take care of things (if you know what I mean).

So how much would it be to fuck? Name a price even if it's a million dollars.

Sorry guys – NO amount of money. I believe you can’t put a price on sex. If you want to get into these pants, it’s all about how you talk to a lady. But if you’re curious about the guys who’ve tried - a Regular once offered me $3,500 for 30 minutes at his place (which is funny since he’s only a mile from my house and I drive past it every day).

Have you had any close calls with Johnny Law?

Nope never.

Do you get a W-2 from your employer? Is it organized just like a regular business (except for the touching of genitals?) Do you have to claim your tips?

I get a 1099 and yes, I have to declare my tips. But as any waitress will tell you, you only declare a calculated minimum.

Do you have to do anything special to keep your hands/wrists from getting sore? Do you have a special workout regimen?

What kind of question is that? Are you suggesting I make a workout video? I’ll admit that my hands and arms are fit from doing massages for a living. But if you’re referring to the Happy Ending, I usually limit that bit to 5 minutes because my arms do get tired.

Do you serve all ethnicities in your practice? If so, is it true what they say about african-american men?

Yes – we serve all ethnicities. And No – it’s not true what they say. Out of all my years at this, I’ve only seen maybe 3 black cocks that were bigger than normal. Ya wanna know who really has the biggest pricks? OLD GUYS. For some reason, their pricks get bigger and thicker with age. I think it's proof that God has a sense of humor.

Do you have an end goal in mind (I just need to make X dollars and then I'm done) or are you just trying to figure it all out still? (like the rest of us...)

Just trying to figure it out like the rest of you. Keep reading this crap and maybe you can figure it out for me!

Do you feel that there is anything wrong with what you're doing? Is massaging genitals really all that much different from rubbing shoulders, backs, and legs?

Nope – a dick is just another muscle like the rest of them. I see nothing wrong with what I do since I don’t do anything I’m not supposed to. Remember - I’m not full service.

Back when I was working at a legitimate spa, people still looked at me crooked when I told them I was a “Massage Therapist.” The whole massage industry is forever tainted by the escort agencies that use massage as a cover for prostitution. A customer told me this story about how he once called a “massage agency” to send someone to his place. Well this skanky looking woman shows up and starts explaining all the things she’ll do for money, and massage was NOT one of them. It also doesn't help your image when one of your co-workers turns full-service behind your back.

Well I hope that answers some of your questions. Keep em coming! This was a nice break from my usual staring at the screen wondering why you guys don't want to hear about that slut with the new implants. Oh well.



Wanda D'Aprila said...

I want to hear about that bitch with the new implants!
- K, formerly in a related field and new to reading your fabulous blog

mark said...

You mentioned earlier that the owner gets the door money and you work for tips. How much does it cost for just the massage before you are tipped for your services?

And have you ever thought about starting your own place?

Em Jay Pee said...

I also would like to hear about the newly-implanted slut.

But dear lord - a mutual massage?!? I pay YOU so I can split a massage session with you? Are you serious?

Hey, I'll admit that those flesh globes you've got there ARE gorgeous, but I don't know if I'd go there. What's next? Why don't I just sign over the deed to my house to you while I'm at it?

And one more thing - at home, I give my lady-friend frequent, real massages (even her feet) and it is NOT just a way to get some bootie from her. You're dating the wrong kind of men...

Em Jay Pee said...

Do you have any female clients? If so, do they know about the additional options? Have you ever had to do a female "hand release?"

cj said...


Today's post is dedicated to you! Thanks!!!


cj said...


The door money includes the massage. Inside the room, if you don't want any options (I remain fully clothed), you get a "therapeutic" massage. However, if you don't tip something ($20 -$40) I would get ticked since options are where I make my money.


cj said...


Yes, we have female clients, but they are always locals who want a regular therapeutic massage. We take them without complaining since it serves as proof that we look like a legitimate business. In this line of work, you can't afford to tick off the locals.

Yes I've thought of starting my own place, especially now that I'm getting older. But it's a financial (and emotional) committment to start a business from scratch. We'll see.


Mark said...


Yes, I understand that you want to provide additional services, but what does just the "therapeutic massage" cost?

Not that, were to ever visit, I would get just a massage, but I was curious how much the door money is?

cj said...

Door money is $40 for 30 minutes, and $60 for an hour.

Like I said before, that money guarantees you a therapeutic massage with no happy ending. Audrey kicks back $20 of the door money to us for each therapeutic we do. Back when I was working in a beauty spa, tips weren't expected but they were always appreciated.


Anonymous said...

Calling much BS here...

"I believe you can’t put a price on sex."
One, what you do is sexual activity, so you actually mean "intercourse" or "penetration", which are personal, individual boundaries. But you do sell "sex".
Two, you said yourself that for the right amount, where the guy qualifies then as a SD, you do give it up. So get off your high horse, already.

"I see nothing wrong with what I do since I don’t do anything I’m not supposed to. Remember - I’m not full service."
What you mean there, is nothing wrong PER AUDREY, because you are following her house's rules, well, except for SDs who do get blown there, of course.
What you do is not wrong because prostitution is not wrong. You never go there, because you like to feel superior to other sex workers that you describe as diseased, addicted, enslaved, etc., all insulting exaggerations and generalizations. They're whores - you're a therapist? WRONG. You're a P/T escort (with SDs) and prostitute (with customers) who gets paid for various sex acts. You even called yourself a pimp for procuring girls on occasion.

"Back when I was working at a legitimate spa [...]" and "[...] it serves as proof that we look like a legitimate business."
Listen to yourself. You KNOW that what you do is NOT legit anymore - you only give the outside appearance of it. Then you want to claim that there's "nothing wrong with what [you] do". Which is it? Legit or not? NOT (and you know it)!

"The whole massage industry is forever tainted by the escort agencies that use massage as a cover for prostitution."
Excuse me? What you do IS prostitution. And the "happy ending" is what "tainted" the image of massages for the public. It's a running joke. This is why guys expect or ask for it everywhere. Few ask for sex or know how to get an escort. I have talked to a lot of legit girls and they don't think that jerking off customers, widespread as it actually is, is cool or kosher.

Look, CJ, I know women and have confronted them on their BS and "magical thinking" before. It's pointless - they only get mad, especially since I have a great memory and know how to make sense of all their contradictions. Nowhere to go but to the tantrum, then...


Anonymous said...

So I'm writing this for the benefit of your readers, mostly males with, you know, a rational mind (once they can quit staring at the pic of a rack, that is).

I'm a hobbyist, a monger. I love and patronize whores. So I'm not about to judge what you do or the abritrary boundaries that you set for yourself (or Audrey for her business).
But you're confused at best and a hypocrite at worst. And since you talk about educating and answering questions from guys new to the hobby, I'm calling you out for THEM.

You're a whore disguised as a therapist. There's no such thing as semi-legal.

You have already been told by credible people (like that ex-cop, Thorn) that you're a prostitute who's rationalizing away. If what you do was "legitimate", you wouldn't have to hide it. The distinction you make, because you have a LMT license and can actually massage is your own and is used as a cover. It has no moral or legal standing.

So your condemnation and call for boycott of your sisters sex workers is disgusting to me.
That recurring bit on AMPs in particular, since I know them so well, is despicable. By calling for their closure and encouraging people to rat them out, using this blog as a bully pulpit to spew lies, you are acting like those other hypocrites (priests) you denounce on your blog. They only CLAIM to be proper and ethical, and they only give the APPEARANCE of it. Then they want to preach and lecture. There is dellusion, dishonesty, and self-interest in much of what people preach.
All your rants against ex workers only sound like advertisements for The Business to me.

Don't cast that stone, because you need to take a long and hard look at yourself first. And readership... a little clarity, maybe?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 6/19/10 (above) is absolutely correct, to the point that I don't have anything to add except that I know AMPs probably better than he does (I may explain that in another comment, sometime), and CJ, you should know that while you are a remarkable woman, this hypocrisy doesn't serve you well. I also detect a bit of envy, which is known from ancient times to be a pure poison for the soul. You need to face facts. To wit: a,) you are doing nothing morally wrong. Neither are the AMPs and full-service providers. b.) You are entitled to make your own decisions about how to conduct your practice. So are they. c.) America is NOT the land of the Free, with draconian nonsense laws against victimless crimes. And it's certainly not the home of the Brave, although there may be a few brave people here. A Hypocrite can not be considered either Brave or Free because he/she is a Slave to her own faulty imagination and Cowers before her nonsensical fantasies. That said, you are a remarkable and appealing woman, tits aside!