Monday, May 12, 2008

CJ is Single!

That’s right folks – I’m back on the market. I finally dumped the Jackass yesterday after a pretty horrible week of fighting. I don’t want to go into details here but let’s just say that it’s been a long time coming.

Of course that doesn’t mean that I’m lonely or depressed. In fact, I’ve totally been keeping my eyes open for a “rebound” for a couple months now. I’ve been hanging out a lot lately with an old boyfriend from high school. I think he was like the 2nd or 3rd guy I ever dated. Anyway, we never had sex – so he dumped me after a few months for not putting out. For some reason, this kinda stuck with me till this day, so I throw it in his face every chance I get.

To me, he looks like Brad Pitt (if Brad Pitt had thinning hair and always wore sneakers). So if I mention him on this thing, I’ll call him “Brad Pitt.” I’ve been in contact with him on and off since high school, but ever since he broke up with his girlfriend 4 months ago we started hanging out more often. Then things really picked up over the last month when I started fighting with Jackass.

Now normally I wouldn’t be wasting all this time boring you guys with seedy details of my personal life. Remember - this blog thing is supposed to be dedicated to my “professional” stories. But the whole Brad Pitt (or BP) thing throws a monkey wrench into my separation of work and home. You see – BP knows what I do for a living.


I think it was after a night of 12 beers and jaeger shots that I might have said something about where I work. And him being a local and all – he said something like… “You mean that ‘Rub Club’ by the highway?” (GAWD – I hate the term Rub club!)

I vaguely remember trying to explain to him through carefully selected slurred words that it’s not what he thinks and I don’t care what he’s heard. I know for a fact that he’s never been to the Business (or not our Business anyway). So I think I was able to convince him that I do massages while in a bikini. It was the best I could come up with under the circumstances!

I’m pretty sure it worked. He actually came to the Business since then to take me out to lunch. And since our foyer looks like a regular spa (especially to men who don’t go to spas), he didn’t look twice or ask any questions. So there goes my cover story of being a shampooer.

Trina asked me what I’d do if he ever decided he wanted to surprise me as a customer. I said I didn’t want to think about it since I would probably be tempted to break every rule I have regarding customers! LOL Then she asked me what I’d do if he ever came in as one of HER customers. “Well I’d just have to castrate him” I said half-jokingly.

Is that hypocritical of me? Did I even spell that word right?

I hate the idea of going through the whole dating crap all over again. I wish there were some sort of female-equivalent to massage parlors where I could just walk in – get off with some hot guy – then walk out and not worry about diseases or whether his mom will like me. I swear – if we had those, there’d be no more need for marriage!

And don't worry guys - I'll try to stay away from my personal drama and come up with some interesting work stories for next time.



Historical Wit said...

Actually you should explore what kind of personal drama that your job creates in your life. I think that if a fight results between you and your significant other because of work, this blog would be a great place to think those thoughts out. So don't be so quick to cut out the personal drama, its what some of us come here for. It isn't just the professional stories, its the personality telling them. Write your fingers off girl.

zencycle said...

Here's to wishing you years of earth-shattering orgasm to 'cum'.

Anonymous said...

I like to hear about the personal stuff... so keep it up. Love your blog by the way!

Anonymous said...

I don't get the jealous, "castrating" tendencies... You always say that HE places are "almost legal", that no penetration or feelings are involved, and that jerking a guy's dick off is just like massaging any other muscle. No big deal.
So what would be the problem? It's not cheating, right?

Oh, but for the CUSTOMER, especially if he's your boyfriend or someone's husband, handjobs, facials, russians, etc. ARE sex, while for the MASSEUSE it's just another job that ONLY other people (no, not you) think is "wrong".

Just calling you out on your BS, CJ, as usual. Yes, you are being hypocritical, as you often admit yourself.

Hey, nobody's perfect, but this is why your readers taking your grandstanding attacks on the rest of the sex industry are morons.